# Marriage Tips You Have To Know! - “Men Like That Cheat Every Way!” - Towards Eternity

- Language: en
- Published: 2026-08-26
- Canonical: https://blog.towardseternity.com/en/blog/marriage-tips-you-have-to-know-men-like-that-cheat-every-way-towards-eternity
- Source video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2k5TPi9-e4
- Channel: Towards Eternity

This is the cleaned transcript of the source video. The speech is unaltered.

---

What should a person do when he is stuck between his mother and wife? What are the reasons for cheating in marriage? How should a person act if he or she learns that he was cheated on? The problem we have with our mothers is that we forget to show them enough love in communication. Wallahi, a man who is going to cheat, even if his wife is 24 hours a day giving him attention he's still going to cheat. Because his heart is "marid", sick! Do something to show her I understand why she is upset. For her to be queen, you have to be king. And for you to be king, you have to treat her like a? Queen. You're welcome. We want to know about you. Can you please introduce yourself to us?

I'm your brother Yahya Adel Ibrahim. Born in Canada, living in Australia. Egyptian heritage. Married to a Turkish. So I am your neighbor almost. Mashallah. Mashallah. What are the reasons for cheating in marriage? How should a person act if she or he learns that he was cheated on? Subhanallah. Cheating is of different types. The Prophet (saw) said, Eyes commit zina. They commit cheating. Ears commit zina. Mouths commit zina. Hands commit zina. Legs commit zina. And finally, may Allah protect us, private parts. Either committed or not. So if my wife, she sees me looking at haram on my phone, how can she love me? How can she respect me? How can she stand behind me in namaz? How?

If my wife, she hears I'm talking on the phone listening to somebody saying to me "Oh Yahya, this and that. I want to see you." And I say to her "Oh, it's somebody from work." How is she going to trust me? If I'm writing text message saying something not good, how is this going to help my family? So cheating can happen. It's not just the big cheating. The worst cheating in marriage is emotional cheating It's where your wife thinks your heart with somebody else. Where your mind is somebody else. Your writing is with somebody else. So we have to be careful with this first. What is the reason that leads him to cheating? Some men are evil. There's no excuse.

See, if you look at the Quran, you're never gonna hear me say "If she give him more attention, if she..." Because wallahi, a man who is going to cheat, even if his wife is 24 hours a day giving him attention, he's still going to cheat! Because his heart is "marid", sick. One has to protect their heart, do what is good to open themselves to Allah, Allah will protect them from this haram. I also warn, you know, anybody who does this cheating. The Prophet (saw), he says in one riwaya "Give news to the one who commits Zina" any type like this, "that day Allah will show their haram in the middle of the house." This is why so many wives, they call.

"Ya Sheikh Yahya, my husband, I saw him watching haram." "I see on his phone, I see on his computer." "Sheikh, what am I going to do? You will never escape. Haram, you can never hide it. Haram will never, Allah made a promise. "I will make fadiha." "I will show other people what you have done." May Allah protect us from haram. So protect yourself, protect your children, protect your home. If you want to be happy in your home, you have to stop the small haram that will lead you to bigger haram. What makes a man, a woman cheat is that they have not made Allah important in their life. They think that if I close the door if I delete the message, if I, no body knows, so they have no muraqabah.

If your relationship is just me and my wife, and I forget Allah is there, how am I going to survive in life? How? Who is going to be enough for me in marriage? Nobody. So imagine that the woman realizes that she was cheated on. What should she do? Do you want the easy answer or the hard answer? Both of them. Okay. The easy answer, and not the good answer, is "Oh, go tell your father, go tell your mother, and ask for divorce and make his lie public." "Let everybody around you know my husband did this." You will never be happy the rest of your life. Why? Because you have given him shame.

Every time he sees your father, every time he sees your brother, he thinks "Look, they know this of me." I'm not saying don't talk about it to somebody who can help. But I'm saying, just picking up the phone, "Ah! He is this, he is that!" is going to make you a miserable life. This is the easy answer. The hard answer is how to help each other is how to help each other become better. So there's something called the psychology of redemption. The psychology of fixing a problem. It's only three steps. The first is self-critique. The person has to understand the mistake. Not you tell them. They have to know what they did is wrong.

And the only way is for them to feel between themself, not everybody tell them. That they, inside themself, they have nadam. In themself, this is wrong. Number two, they have to make self-control. They have to learn how to stop from the mistake. If somebody's husband, they, Audhubillah watching haram on their mobile. Because it's easy. It's just, ah. If they watch haram then they need to change their mobile or change the Wi-Fi password or change their thing that it puts a block. You have to develop control. So you have to say "How can I stop using this and this way? Okay, what I need to do is Wi-Fi.

My wife, you choose a different password." "Don't tell me, make it adult restricted." "Nothing adult on it." You have to take the way to protect yourself. Or, get yourself an older phone. Get yourself Nokia 8250. Remember? From 20 years ago. Just a screen. Which is safe. No problem. You have to develop self-control. Number three is, you have to self-sacrifice. You have to give up something to make the other person feel better. I cannot watch haram, my wife knows about it. And say "Ah, forget it!" I have to sacrifice, I have to do something to show her I understand why she is upset. Unless I do this, my life will be miserable. Three steps. My mistake is my mistake. I made a mistake, ya Allah.

Number two, how can I stop this? I need to change my phone, I need to not go out with this friend, he took me to haram place. He took me to club. This person, he sent me something not right. He's not gonna be my friend, I have to cut him. Number three, I have to give my family or the people I made wrong something to make them feel better about what I did. What if nothing works and he continues? Then step one was not true. Then step two was not done. Then step three can never happen. And if a person is evil in the heart, cannot change, then divorce is needed. Divorce is not a dirty word. The word "divorce" is not a dirty word. It's not, ah.

Sometimes in our culture, we make divorce worse than zina. Wallahi. "Oh no, no. If I get divorced, what..." And everybody knows husband doing haram. No. What should a person do when he is stuck between his mother and wife? Your mother has a different love to your wife. The problem we have with our mothers is that we forget to show them enough love in communication. So my mother, my father, as they get older Allah tells me in the Quran that I have to talk with them a lot. Regular conversation. When I don't call my mother, then she's thinking "Oh, somebody else took him from me." When she has the thought, it's a natural thought. When I'm older, I'm gonna have the thought.

You'll have the thought, your wife will have the thought for your children. "Ah, now his wife, she's taking all of his time." But if I... It's not my wife's problem. My wife is not the one in problem with my mother. It's me, but I'm not thinking right. If I give my mother enough attention, she's not going to look to my wife and say "She has taken my son." But when a young man forgets to be good to his walida, good to his mother, calling her, buying her, gifting her, sharing with her, talking to her in the morning, in the evening. Even now when I'm with you, even here, although I'm not in my house in Australia, even from here, every morning, every night I spoke to my father, my mother.

Anywhere I'm in the world, even in Hajj on the Day of Arafat Why? Because this is Haqq. If I don't do this, but I talk to my daughter talk to my son, talk to my mother, then I'm not good to his mother. The problem is not the wife and the mother. It's a weak son. Not a good son. May Allah protect us. And the way to fix it is to be better with our mother. Not to say to my wife, "Don't." Not to say to my mother, "Don't talk to her." It's that I give more to my father and my mother. Can you tell us about an unforgettable memory of you with the people who consulted you? There's lots, but I will speak about something positive. One time, one brother. He is Turkish, in Australia.

He married a girl from another culture. From another family. Her family does not speak Turkish, does not speak English. So he does not know how to communicate good. So his wife, when he's home, he is happy. But he come home one day and his house is different organization. He likes everything his way. So he sees the, you know, books, different place, the plates there... House is not the same. His house, not the same. So he says to his wife, "What happened?" She goes, "My mother was cleaning. She was helping." He says, "I like my house the same." He goes into his room. All of his shirts, they are folded. He likes to put them hanger so that they don't need iron. Subhanallah. His mother, she...

Her mother, she do it. He comes to me, he says "Sheikh, I don't know how to communicate with her. Can you tell my wife? My wife doesn't, she's saying I don't want to upset her." I come to the house, he says "It's making me very upset." So I come and I sit. And the mother, she speaks Arabic. So I speak Arabic, she speaks Arabic. So I say, She goes, "Alhamdulillah I'm very happy here. I don't know how to show him I love him. So I try to clean his house, I try to iron his clothes. My daughter, she is lazy." "She don't know how to do it, so I'm doing it for him." So I smile. I tell him, "Listen, you have beautiful woman here. She's doing this to make you happy.

Because she thinks her daughter is not doing it right. Her daughter is not telling her that you don't want" He goes, "Why didn't she tell her?" She said "I don't know." So the daughter didn't want to do the work. So when her mother is doing it, she said "Okay, good." So when I explained, he became very happy with her. Subhanallah, very happy. Another true story. One brother, he is from a different culture. Wants to marry another sister in another culture. This is back home in Canada. The family, she says "Oh no, he is not from our people." "Oh no, no, I don't want him." And I say okay, no problem. But he is a good man, very good man. Have good job, have good akhlaq.

Always in the jami, cleaning in the jami. Helping young boys memorize Quran. Very good man. I say to her, wallahi, if I have a daughter, and I'm old, and she's old, wallahi he is a good man for her. She said "Okay, Sheikh Yahya. I'll think about it." Her husband, he died Subhanallah. And she had three other daughters. All of the other husbands from her country, they said "Oh, we don't want her to live with us." But this man, not her country, he makes for her room, her own place. He takes her to Hajj, he takes her to Umrah. She loved nobody more than him. The one she said no, Allah (swt) opened a different way. Have you ever get into a moment that I can't get on you anymore?

I can't continue with you anymore? Of course. You're not married until you have a moment where you don't like each other. But you love each other. See, you can love each other, but not like each other. You can be upset with each other, but still love each other. That I would do anything in the world for her, but I don't want to talk to her for one hour. No problem. Rasulullah (saw) was like this. He had a moment in his life where he was upset with Aisha (ra), with Hafsah (ra), with all of his wives. He stayed in his apartment upstairs above his house for thirty days, twenty-nine days. But he still loves her, right? He still loves, but he had to have a little point of seperation.

He would visit them every day, but he would not stay. How is everything? They're good? Okay. And would visit. Because there was something that he was upset about. So you can be upset, but you still love each other. And this is the sunnah of Allah (swt). Nobody who says life is happy, happy, happy, happy except that they are either hiding the truth or they don't know they're unhappy. I leave you with a true story. Al-Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, Rahmatullahi Alaih, he said, "Since I married my wife 20 years ago, I have never been upset with her and she has never been upset with me." They said "20 years? How?

It's impossible." He said, "When I say something she doesn't like," "When I say something she's not happy with, she's quiet and doesn't respond to me." "And when she says something and I don't like, I'm quiet a little bit, I don't respond straight away and I let her say what she wants. She gets it out, I get it out. Then we come back to each other. There's a hadith about this as well. Rasulullah (saw) said, authentic hadith, sahih hadith. He says, "When you come to choose your wife, marry somebody who is wadud." She is tender, loving. She will be good with children. She wants to make a family. If you say something good, or do something good, she returns good equal or more.

You say "Assalam alaikum", she says "Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah." Right? And then he said, She is a woman, your wife, who, when her husband is upset, she puts her hand in his hand. And says "We will not sleep tonight until we are happy with each other." That is a happy life. Do you agree with Bob Marley who says that "no women, no cry?" I agree. I agree with Bob Marley. I agree in both sides of what this means. I'm not going to make her cry but she doesn't make me cry. My uncle he once said to me, "Every man talks to himself. Either he says la ilaha illallah, what kind of woman do I have, bad woman? Or, he says Alhamdulillah.

Allah has given me a good woman." When you look in the media today, there are some famous celebrities. Some of them, court cases with their wives. Right? When you see this celebrity... Money? More than he can count? Cars, fame, everything. Movie star. But in the court you hear that he doesn't feel safe. That there is abuse. That there is drinking. And there is violence. What you see sometimes in the outside, is not what's in the inside. For us as Muslims, we are more interested in the inside than the outside. If you build your house from the inside out, you will be happy if you invest in it. Look at the words of Rasulullah (saw).

He said The greatest, the greatest blessing in life is a good woman who, when her husband sees her, even from a distance, he feels happy in his heart. Subhanallah. Not about Salah... What’s a good woman? No. Good woman is what? If he's away, she is careful. She looks after the house and the family and the children and the money. She is honest, she is caring. She is loving. If you have this in your life, if you have a good woman, she will also have a good man. For her to be queen, you have to be king. And for you to be king, you have to treat her like a? Queen. She has to be your sun, and all of the other women are stars far away.

If she feels somebody is bigger than her, you will have a difficult time in life. These two questions that I will ask if you don't give the right answer, you have the right to ask us not to publish the video. No problem. First question, do you know the birthday of your wife? Yes, of course. - Ok. Yeah, a hundred percent. Come on. Have you ever washed the dishes or made the ironing? Allahu Akbar. This is every day. Rasulullah (saw)... - Everyday? Allahu Akbar. Rasulullah (saw), the hadith he washed the dishes for Aisha (ra). I'm not better than Rasulullah (saw). He'd make his own clothes, he'd fix it. Even when Aisha (ra) is next to him. The hadith of Abu Dawood, beautiful hadith.

Aisha (ra), she's sitting, it's a hot day. Inside the house with the Prophet (saw). She's watching him. He is very hot, his sweat makes on his forehead too much water. Why? He is sitting, fixing his cloth. He didn't say "Here, you do it Aisha (ra)." He is fixing his cloth. Aisha (ra), she's sitting, watching him. She smiled. "Are you laughing at me?" "No, oh Messenger of Allah, but when I saw you're sweating, I remembered the poetry of pre-Islamic Arabia. One poet, he said "When I see your sweat it is more precious than the pearls in the deep ocean.” “I said this is written for you, oh Messenger of Allah." So he left his cloth that he's fixing, he hugged me, he kissed me.

And he said "You are more than this to me, Aisha (ra)." So every two days, I do the laundry in my house. You as a man, you have to do something to make yourself valuable in your home. Your value in your home is not just bringing the money, but living in your home. And I'm not saying that you have to change your whole life and everything, no. But when you help your wife it is something she will never forget. Something you might not know. This statistic is a Harvard statistic. Okay? 60% of women, when they are asked "What makes you fall deeper in love with your husband?" The simple answer is he makes me feel that he will help me in any situation I'm in. That's it. That's it. Sixty percent.

If you go home and if your wife answers you true, she will tell you the same thing. She will tell you, you know, this is what your wife will remember. She will remember the moment you helped her when other people didn't. Subhanallah. - At this point of the video, I believe that sisters will like this. - Brothers will be upset. Let's make it easy. Aisha (ra), listen, Aisha (ra), she is asked. "What did the Prophet do when you were alone in the house?" Hadith in Bukhari. "He was khadim, meaning "servant", for his family." When he is in his house. "Never leave me to need anything." How does a wife make her man happy? Three things. First, is the ego. Make him feel like the king of the castle.

Subhanallah. If I come home and I feel like a visitor, then why come home? Why do some brothers they are outside too many hours in the day? Because when they are home, they don't feel like the king I want to feel like a king. I'm a man. But sisters say that "We don't want to be ruled." Not ruled. If I don't feel like a king, you will not be a queen. So I have to feel like a king. Number two, I have to be approached for intimate time, not to be the one to always ask. Usually our wives, sometimes they make this mistake. They wait for the husband to start. To say "Come here," and, you know, in that intimate time. Number one thing husband wants, is for the wife to show she wants him.

Not "I have to ask all the time." Number one reason why husband and wife are divorcing this is the first thing the husband says. "Shiekh Yahya, I feel like I have to ask her, like begging, to just be, hold my hand." I say, "This is not right. This is not the sunnah of our Nabi (saw)." Third thing to make the husband happy is to never take something that is his secret or his mistake and tell other people, ever. The moment you do that, you will never have a man. He will never trust you again. And if you have made this mistake, you have to promise him it will never happen again. And he has to believe you. You have to show you are meaning it. Inshallah. Is it happy now for the brothers?

- Yeah, Yeah... That's good for the brothers now? That will, wallahi... Two thumbs up. Mashallah for the brothers. All of this is the sunnah. All of this have hadith from the Nabi (saw). What do you do when you encounter a problem at home with your wife? What is the solution? You have a problem, she wants something, but you don't want to do that. What is the solution in here? Whenever we are solving conflict, the number one rule is that the conflict doesn't have to be solved, but you have to work through it. Meaning, I can have a problem that will not be solved the rest of my life. Just say, my wife does not like and get along with my mother. Just say. Just say somebody, he married a woman.

He loves her. But she and his mother are not always happy together. It's gonna be there. His mother is there. Not gonna change. I don't have to solve it. But I have to learn how to deal with it. So then we come with a strategy. We say "Okay, listen. When you are upset with her I don't want you to tell her. You tell me, I can talk to her." So, I'm not gonna solve the problem. But I'm going to fix how to make the problem not bigger. So conflict and a mistake and a problem does not have to be fixed. You have to understand this. If you think there has to be solution for every problem, you're going to have a very difficult life. Some problems cannot be solved. You just have to manage the problem.

Number two, communication even if it's just with your eyes. Listen to the hadith of Rasulullah (saw). Aisha (ra) was sitting with him. A woman, non-Muslim woman, she comes. She looks at Aisha (ra). She wants to upset Muhammad (saw). She says "You are this, you are this, you are this." She's swearing bad words to Aisha (ra). Aisha (ra) is strong. She can answer. She says, "I look to my husband's face." "I see in his eye, if I answer the woman he will be upset." "He said to me, be quiet." "I was quiet." The old woman goes, comes back. She again, ah. I look to Muhammad (saw), my husband. "Don't. Ssh. So I'm quiet." Third time. The Prophet (saw)... Aisha (ra), she says "I look to him.

I see in his face he is okay. Okay, give it to her. I give her big words. She leaves, never comes back." She knows now I will answer her. Why is this important? With his eyes, Rasulullah (saw) he is able to communicate. Communication is important. You cannot feel, in your heart, upset and then you not let your husband, your wife know. It cannot be that they think everything is okay and it's not okay. Sometimes our wives, they have this bad habit. You think something is not right so you come and say "Is everything okay?" "Yes." You say, "Are you sure?" "Just tell me what's wrong." "Nothing." Allahu Akbar. One day, two days, three days. Allahu Akbar. This is not the sunnah.

Allah (swt) said to the Nabi (saw) "Muslim cannot... cannot be away from another Muslim three days." How can a wife be away for one week? Husband, be away from his wife one week? That you don't talk? One brother, he said "Sheikh, I never talked to her one month." I said "Astaghfirullah, are you Muslim?" How? How can you be Muslim? This is not the deen of Rasulullah (saw). Some say that, after we got married, we realized that we are not compatible with my wife. Should we think that this is a test from Allah and continue? Absolutely. So, being not compatible is something where you will evolve. And how you think today is not the way you will think tomorrow.

And how she thinks today is not the same. But if that thing can be changed as time goes maybe. "Oh, I don't think we're compatible, she likes to sleep late, I like to sleep early." No, that's something you can change. She likes food that's..., I don't like food that... No, she can change how she's cooking. How you're cooking. You can make those changes in your life, in her life, those are not ending-marriage changes. Do you have a memory which is very extraordinary story about your job? Yeah, too many. Because too many people live with pain, and they hold it. If they learn how to... Why do people drink? Why do people take drugs? They don't know how to get the pain outside.

So they take medicine. The medicine, drinking. Because it makes their mind forget. Makes, the marijuana, forget it. May Allah protect us. If somebody doesn't know how to release that pain, then they have to take it out. It can be violence, it can be spending money, just buying things they don't need. One sister, she had ten thousand shoes and shirts. Because I'm so upset. I'm angry. So I just spend his money. Doesn't even need it. Some things she's never worn, still the tag on it, from five years ago. Just buying, buying. It's a disease. But why? Because in the heart, I'm upset at this.

The moment she says it, the moment he hears it, the moment he acknowledges "Yes, I understand what she said." It makes a new life. Brand new beginning. Lastly, I want you to look at the camera. Somebody's watching. He or she is having problems with his marriage. I want you to look him or her in the eye and say some words. And then we'll finish the video. The Prophet (saw) said, the best words are the words of Allah, the word of Rasulullah (saw).

The Prophet (saw) said, "You will not be a true Muslim, a true believer, until you love for other people what you love for yourself." If you treat your husband, your wife the way you want them to treat you, if you talk to them the way you want them to talk to you, if you give them the way you want them to give you, if you act with them the way you want them to act with you, if you are truthful with them the way you want them to be truthful with you, if you protect them the way you want them to protect you, if, if, if, if... you will live a happy life. Allah says this in the Quran.

"They are like the clothing you wear, and you must be like the cloth that they wear." So you have to be her jacket, you have to be protection from the sun, from the cold, from the rain. You for him, have to be his armor, his shield, his... If you can do that for each other then you will live a life of comfort. And this is the sunnah of our Nabi Muhammad (saw). The dua of Rasulullah (saw) is "Oh Allah, bless us with your love, and the love of those who love you." If Allah puts in your house somebody who loves him, and they are loving to you, you have been given the whole dunya. May Allah give us those who love Allah. Amin Ya Rab