# WOMEN in ISLAM: Polygamy, Inheritance & the ‘Beating’ Verse EXPLAINED! | EP 2

- Language: en
- Published: 2026-08-26
- Canonical: https://blog.towardseternity.com/en/blog/women-in-islam-polygamy-inheritance-the-beating-verse-explained-ep-2
- Source video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpTWwMJLb-A
- Channel: Towards Eternity

This is the cleaned transcript of the source video. The speech is unaltered.

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Social media is full of propaganda, claiming that Islam treats women as inferior. So, what is the truth? In the previous episode, we saw the unique value Islam gives to women. It became clear how baseless the opposing claims really are. And now there are three common questions that need to be answered. How can one man have four wives in Islam? Doesn't that make women seem less valuable? The second question is, why do women receive half the share of inheritance compared to men? And finally, does the Qur'an encourage hitting women in Surah An-Nisa Verse 34? Let's start with the issue of marrying up to four wives. The most fundamental thing we need to understand is that this is not a command.

It's actually a restriction. In the society where Islam emerged, polygamy was at its peak and it was the source of many problems. When Islam came, it didn't increase it from one to four. Rather, it reduced it from eight or nine down to four and placed boundaries around it. Since the Qur'an is universal, it had to establish a system that could apply to all times and all societies. It needed to offer practical solutions for different conditions that might arise in every era. For example, in times of war, when there are heavy losses, it's the male population that decreases, not the female. During WWI and WWII, millions of men lost their lives.

And as a result, millions of widows and orphaned children were left behind and they all needed care and support. In such situations, it becomes essential to both protect these people and ensure that the country's population continues to grow. That is why, in such circumstances, it becomes necessary for a man to marry more than one woman. Also, we have to consider another reality. Think of the societies where polygamy was common. If they saw this system as too difficult to live by, they would hesitate to enter Islam, but their eternal life depends on it. So of course, there needs to be such permission so that these people are not pushed away from Islam.

Remember, this religion wasn't revealed just for the 21st century. It was sent to people of every culture over the course of 14 centuries, and to those who will come until the end of time. Moreover, polygamy still exists all around the world today. It's just that we are not fully aware of it. In 2022, a well-known American research project, the General Social Survey, GSS, conducted a study on infidelity rates, and the results are shocking. According to the study, 20% of married men were found to have cheated. In other words, polygamy already exists, but in an illegitimate way.

So instead of secret and dishonest relationships, Islam offers a path to build a family in an open way and within the bounds of law. It closes the door to secret affairs, and helps prevent the moral collapse in society that comes with infidelity. Of course, this is not a permission that can be used casually. There's a serious rule. All wives must be treated fairly. From showing emotional care and attention, to meeting their financial needs, there should be complete justice. And still, with the following verse, Islam actually emphasizes monogamy. "But if you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one." Another verse highlights how difficult this is to achieve.

"You will never be able to treat your wives with equal fairness, however much you may desire to do so." There is even a terrifying warning about this in a hadith. Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the day of resurrection with the side hanging down," meaning with one side paralyzed. Can you imagine how serious a responsibility this is? Because it means there's a real risk of wrongdoing another human being. That is why this is a very delicate matter, a very thin line that cannot be crossed carelessly. Moreover, a woman has the right to add a condition to the marriage contract.

If she says, "You will not marry another woman besides me," the man can no longer marry a second wife. It is that simple. On the other hand, a woman is also free to choose to become someone's second or third wife. No one can force her to do this. And according to Islam, it is prohibited to force her anyway. So in the end, it comes down to whether the woman accepts it and whether the man is able to uphold justice. When all parties agree, no one else has any right to object. Remember, we called it a permission. Like times of war, there are many scenarios that may be rare or exceptional, but have happened and might happen again.

We can give other examples as well, and all of them would show why it is important for this kind of permission to always be there as an option. While this option should exist, we also observe in real life that this practice is rarely seen among Muslims today. Moreover, if you look at other religions, we can see that polygamy isn't something unique to Islam. For example, Christianity has around 2.3 billion followers, and you won't find a single verse in the Old or New Testament that forbids polygamy. In fact, we can easily see examples of it among Old Testament prophets, like Prophet Abraham, Prophet Moses, and Prophet David.

A Christian who criticizes Islam for this should remember that according to the Old Testament Prophet Suleiman had 700 wives. Similarly, when we look at Hinduism, a religion that is followed by 1.1 billion people, we see no rule that forbids polygamy. In fact, there are many examples of it within that religion too. We can also see that it was common in many other societies and cultures. So of course, a practice that is accepted by over half the world's population cannot be used to criticize or object to Islam. In short, just because a certain ruling feels different from the lifestyle we are used to, doesn't mean it's wrong. Now we come to the hardest question. Surah An-Nisa, verse 34.

Does the Qur'an command men to beat women? Now, imagine a man who never raised his hand to his wives and never said any word that would break their hearts. He joked with them, showed love at every opportunity, and became a role model for the entire world. And that man, meaning Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said, "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife." In the previous episode, we clearly saw the value Islam gives to women. So could it be possible that the Qur'an, the very message that this man delivered, could really be encouraging men to beat women? Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, is described as the walking Qur'an. And he never did such an act, not even once.

So there must be some subtle details that are missed here. Now let's take a closer look at this verse. It begins like this. "Men are caretakers, protectors of women." Look, right from the beginning, the husband's role is clearly defined to protect his wife. And by definition, someone who protects does not harm. On the contrary, he makes sure no harm comes to the other person. So even from the first verse of the Ayah, we can already see that the issue might be a little bit different from what we might have initially thought. The ruling here cannot be applied to all women. It refers to a specific narrow group. The word used here is Nashuz. This is the name of the act in Arabic.

And so, women who do this act are called Nasheza. So what does this mean? In what way was this word used here? In the Ayah, two opposite types of women are mentioned, Saleha and Nasheza. The verse describes Saleha women like this. "So the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard the honor of their husbands in their absence, because of the protection Allah has given them." Meaning, when their husband is not around, this type of woman guards her chastity. So from here, we can understand that Nasheza women have the opposite of these qualities. In other words, we're not talking about a simple situation here. The honor of the family is at risk.

The woman starts seeking attention from other men, trying to appear attractive to them. She's talking to non-mahram men. Men she shouldn't be interacting with according to Islamic boundaries. She talks to men her husband doesn't approve of. She crosses boundaries that are meant to protect modesty and privacy, behaving casually and carelessly with those she should keep her distance from. And at home, this leads to tension. She becomes defiant and disrespectful towards her husband, causing constant conflict in the marriage. So when the verse says, "Those from whom you fear nushuz," it refers to a situation that is gradually getting worse.

Not a single argument, but a deeper and ongoing problem in the relationship. Now let's take a moment and go back to any point in history. What would a husband do if he saw his wife behaving like this? He might beat her harshly and nothing would stop or restrict him. Don't we still see how similar situations today can lead to even murder? But the Ayah gives a different approach. The first step is to warn with words. The second is to leave her alone in bed. There are beautiful subtleties in these steps that we may not notice at first glance, but let's first examine the word "hit" more closely, which is the last resort. This doesn't mean to beat her harshly. There are clear limits to this.

For example, hitting the face is strictly forbidden. He also cannot hit in a way that leaves marks on the body or causes any injury. So we are talking about a very restricted form of hitting. You know how sometimes you shake someone by the shoulders and say, "Come to your senses," just to make them realize what they are doing? That could be an example of it, because the real goal here is to protect family unity, and to stop someone who is clearly in the wrong from continuing their mistake, and to do so without oppressing anyone. So this can be considered as symbolic act. It's not the body that is hit, but the soul. Remember the issue of marrying four wives?

We said that the Qur'an didn't increase the number from one to four. Rather, it reduced it from eight or nine to four. The same idea applies here. The Qur'an does not encourage or command hitting. It actually restricts the husband who was already going to do that act. I mean, think about it. Do you think a man who hit his wife would say something like, "I wasn't going to hit her, but the verse made me do it?" No, of course not. He just did it out of sudden anger. Religion or faith wouldn't even cross his mind at that moment. So what the verse does is to put limits on a husband who would otherwise resort to violence without control.

The verse comes in and in a way says to him, "No, you cannot just hit whenever or however you feel like it. You have to follow these two steps first." And what were those steps? Verbal warning, and then separating the beds. The verbal warning step is there to prevent uncontrolled violence. Because after some time, the man's emotions will calm down. His anger won't feel as strong as it did in the heat of the moment. Now, let's talk about the subtleties in these steps that I mentioned earlier. In the Qur'an, the word chosen for the first step, the verbal warning, is very interesting.

The root of this verb is [ARABIC], which means to advise with love and compassion, to give counsel that truly touches the listener's heart. So this is not shouting. It's not saying harsh words like, "Enough, I can't take this anymore. Just stop already." It's about trying to correct the other person in a way that softens her and speaks to both her heart and her mind. It's not about breaking or hurting, it's about repairing and healing. Let's say that the man has done this in an ideal way for a fair amount of time. If this still doesn't work, then the second step begins, which is separating the beds. Now let me give you the other interesting nuance.

The Ayah doesn't actually say "Sleep in separate beds." It says [ARABIC], which means leave them alone in their beds. In other words, the one who should go to the couch is the man. With his actions, he's basically saying to his wife, "I don't want to be next to you right now because of your behavior. I would rather sleep somewhere else, but I still want you to be comfortable. You stay in the bed." Showing another gesture of respect, he then leaves the room like a true gentleman. By the way, remember we are talking about a Nasheza woman, who is clearly in the wrong, not just any woman. And the goal of the steps mentioned in the verse is to gently discourage her from continuing that behavior.

So what is going to happen now? Actually, this is where everything begins. Single people may not fully understand the weight of this, but for a woman who is married and has that emotional bond with her husband, it feels very heavy. Single sisters who are watching can ask this to the women around them who are married. Please ask, if your husband told you he wanted to sleep separately for five days, how would you react? What would you feel? Being apart for two days or three days is one thing, but when it gets to 4 or 5 days, no one can tolerate it anymore and wants to find a solution. Because during those nights she cannot fall asleep before an hour has passed.

There's a battle going on inside her mind with endless thoughts and worries. The lack of attention brings pain and leads to self-blame. She then begins to question her faults. Not only the wife, but also the husband doesn't like experiencing this situation either. And of course, if they sleep separately at night, we cannot say their relationship is great during the day, can we? Eventually, on one of those nights, one of them breaks the silence, goes to the spouse, and wants to talk things through. Do you realize that despite having been revealed in the 600s, the Qur'an has provided a kind of marital therapy? Isn't that amazing?

Now, let's say that even this didn't change the Nasheza woman's behavior and everything continues the way it was. Then, don't you think that this marriage is in great danger now? So at that point, the Qur'an talks about the final step, a last resort. Above all, as we said, our Prophet (saw) is the best example of how to live the Qur'an. He never raised a hand against any of his wives, and many times warned those who hit their wives. I believe the issue is now better understood. Now let's get to the final question. In Islam, why do women receive half the share of inheritance compared to men? Isn't this unfair? Let's go back to the previous video.

Before Islam, women didn't have inheritance rights, but Islam granted them that. In fact, even in the UK and the US, women didn't have this right until the 1800s. But why do women receive half the inheritance share in Islam? Because justice can only be served this way. First, we need to understand this. Equality and justice are not the same thing. True justice is giving shares according to people's responsibilities. Remember, we also mentioned in the previous episode that the financial burden of the family is on the shoulders of the husband. The wife has no such duty. Even if a woman becomes an adult, her father is still responsible for her livelihood until she gets married.

Once she marries, her husband takes on that responsibility, and she has no obligation to contribute to household expenses whatsoever. And on top of that, she receives a mehr, sum of money as part of the marriage contract, and she isn't required to spend any of it on the household either. And when she gets older, it becomes her son's responsibility to provide for her, and she even has a right to a portion of his inheritance. Now, think about it. During the marriage, it's the husbands who must provide for the family. For the most part, the wife is the one being provided for. Throughout history, even before the coming of these verses in the Qur'an, the financial burden has always been on men.

So according to Islam, here's how the inheritance should be distributed. Let's say a father dies leaving a son and a daughter. Here, the son inherits twice as much as the daughter, because a significant portion of his inheritance will be spent on the people he must provide for. Compared to what the daughter receives, the remaining portion may either be the same or even less. So in fact, the woman is not receiving half. Rather, the man receives double because of his responsibilities. Or, let's look at this way. The same sister will receive her share of the inheritance, but she has no obligation to spend it on the household. Her husband is responsible for that.

Therefore, in the long term, her husband's wealth will be spent for her benefit. So if we combine her inheritance with what her husband provides, she ends up in a similar or even better position than her brother. Because he spends his wealth on the household. Additionally, if her husband inherits wealth, she will benefit from that too. So, as we said, equality doesn't mean justice. Justice means everyone gets what they deserve based on their responsibilities. And that is what Islam does. Looking at what we discussed in this video, and especially in the previous video, we can see that Islam neither elevates men above women nor undermines the value of women.

If you have watched the first video, you will understand what I'm about to say better. Remember the statistics we shared earlier, that four out of five people who converted to Islam in the US are women. Today, thousands of women are discovering the truth by going beyond propaganda and doing their own research. They are turning to a religion where they find peace, security and justice. Because for them, Islam is not just a religion, it's a home. When they embrace Islam, they feel the same way as the famous Irish convert Sinéad O'Connor, who said, "I'm home." We are human beings, we have intellect, we question, we reason.

So, this thing, without any prejudices and biases, who can set the most fair balance between men and women? We as humans, or the One who created us? The systems that have been tried for hundreds of years and always fail, or the laws set by the eternal and perfect Creator?