“I Cried With The Adhan Being Called..” A Gangster Convert to Islam
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I was a leader of the gang for at least 10, 11 years. I had my gang in Bronx. I had my gang in Queens. I had my gang in Brooklyn. I was into violent crimes, armed robberies, gang wars. I'm somebody that when you walk by, you don't want to play with me. I started thinking that I was the creator. The first thing I said is that, "I would never become Muslim. I would never put my face on the floor." It was an assault and robbery on a drug dealer. I got arrested. I can't use drugs no more. I can't drink no more. There's no more partying. Everything is just stopped. I was questioning, saying, you know, there's got to be something more than what I'm thinking. And that's when the adhan was called.
It was so beautiful. I wanted to go where that was at because it was the call to... This is the answer you're looking for. The answer you're looking for. Assalamualaikum, brother Abdul Aziz. Alaikumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Thank you for accepting our invitation. Welcome to our interview. We are very happy to have you with us. I want to start with, who is Abdul Aziz? Can you tell us briefly about your life? I was born in Brooklyn, New York, until I was about ten years old and moved to the Bronx in about the 80s, the early 80s. I lived in a predominantly Latino, Black neighborhood. It wasn't as bad, but it did have its gangs and stuff like that.
And as growing up, I had a rough life growing up. I was an only child. My grandmother raised me, and my aunt. There were no other children in the house. I was a drug addict. I was an alcoholic. I was into a violent crimes. A lot of armed robberies, gang wars. My father died when I was three weeks old. And my mother left, and left me with my grandmother. So growing up like that, there's a lot of answers that you want, but you're not getting. At that point, I didn't know who I was, I didn't know what my purpose was, I really didn't care whether I lived or died at an early age. So I turned to the streets. And since a lot of the guys out there in the street, they accepted me, that's how I ran.
And that's where the gang life started. Because when you don't have that love and that attention in the house, you're going to get it out there. And it ain't going to be the correct attention that you want. So what happened was I took to that lifestyle. That lifestyle, it let me be who I wanted to be. I enjoyed the gang lifestyle. I did. I did enjoy it for a long time. I've been shot at. I've been jumped. I got stabbed once. I got hit with a bat. I got jumped numerous times, shot at many a times. I've shot at people. I wanted to live a life that was a gang life. And since I was young and no guidance, I took to it. You know the streets, you know... They will eat you alive.
Can you take us to those days? What kind of activities you were involved in? Whatever it took to make the next person fear me. It took anywhere from robbing drug dealers to shooting at other gang members, to getting into fights, constantly picking fights, proving that I was a lot more crazier than the next person. I spent most of my life proving that I was somebody you didn't want to get into a confrontation with. So anything from armed robbery, running into drug dealer's place of business and robbing them, shooting at them, them shooting at you. Go to parties, get into fights, because you don't like this gang. This gang doesn't like your gang. You're looking at each other.
And then it turns into, let's just shoot it out, why not? Or let's just fight outside and, you know. And that's what gang life was before. It's way different now. And it's kind of worse. But it wasn't as bad as how we did it, you know? Because when we did it, it was just crazy. There wasn't as many police, you know? So if anything happened, it would take at least an hour or two for the police to even respond to these type of things. Especially if it involved guns. The more I did it and the more people, it was, like, the more people talked about it, or they looked at it and they mentioned it, the more stronger I felt, the more excited I got. Because now I'm planting fear.
I'm becoming a menace to people, and I'm somebody that when you walk by, you don't want to play with me. I was a leader of the gang for at least 10, 11 years. I had a lot of members and we caused a lot of trouble. That's the life that I enjoyed. Because at the moment, it was the only life I knew. Because religion had no significance in my life at that point. Because the religion that I was being taught, I didn't accept. You had your gang in Bronx? I had my gang in Bronx. I had my gang in Queens. I had my gang in Brooklyn. I had different locations with different people. So I've... Brooklyn. Queens. The Bronx. Manhattan. Jersey. Philadelphia, Connecticut.
These were places that I had members that would come. And they would all come to the meeting. What was the worst thing that you committed that you're really regretful for? As Towards Eternity, we need your support. We are a charity organization that aims to spread the message of Islam to the entire world in ten languages. With your support, you can help people convert to Islam, give up harams, start praying, wear hijab, learn to read the Qur'an and so on, and get your share from all these good deeds Insha’allah. Donate to Towards Eternity and don't miss this golden opportunity. What was the worst thing that you committed that you're really regretful for?
Let's just say it's something that, if I wouldn't have embraced Islam, it's something that's real major. That, you know, it says in the Qur'an that when you kill a person, it's like you kill all of humanity. And when you save a person, it's like you save all of humanity. So I partook in destroying humanity at that point before Islam. Not only would I question it, I would curse my creator. Audhubillah. And it was out of hurt. The best time for the Shaitan to play with you is when you're hurt and you're angry. So how was your life in regards to faith? What were you believing in? I didn't really believe in anything. I was pushed into Christianity. I never was comfortable with Christianity.
It didn't make any sense to me. The fact that I had to pray to somebody else to intercede for me with my creator. So I had to ask Jesus, In order for God to hear me. I have to go through Jesus first. It's something that didn't make any sense, to pray to somebody that was here, yes. And human like I was and died. So it started conflicting with me. Because that's like, if I want to get a car off of the brother here, why do I have to go to you to go talk to him about the car? I can go talk to him directly. That's what I was looking for. That's what was missing. So, I did not believe.
As I was taught growing up, and this is where the contradiction comes in, is Jesus was the Son of God, and then that Jesus is God. You have to make up your mind. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Son of God. There's a problem here. And none of it made any sense. Because it's not just that the point of Jesus being the Son of God. It's also the Trinity. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. So now there's a Father, there's a Son. Now you're telling me there's a Spirit as well? That's where the conflict starts to come in. So I rebelled against the religion a lot. It got to a point where I really didn't believe in a creator at all. I started thinking that I was the creator.
And, you know, Audhubillah, that's how I acted. Like, you know, there was no creator. There was no higher power than I am. And now I'm rebellious. I'm young, I'm angry. How old were you then? I'd say I was about 18, 19 years old. So did your gang life start back then? My gang life started in the 80s. We're talking about the early 90s now with this. When you were how many years old? About ten years old. No mother. I mean no mother, no father in the house. No male role models. There was one time I was cornered in and I was shot at and it missed. And then there was another time that a guy came up and put a gun to me. And when he went to pull the trigger, the trigger didn't go off.
The gun didn't go off. So yeah, I've been through a lot. I was jumped one time and put in a hospital. I've been chased plenty of times that if I would have got caught... And at that point I really wasn't afraid of dying. But the street life, it played a major role in my life because of no guidance. So you were feared? Yes. But did that feel satisfactory to you? It was a satisfaction at the moment. But when you leave and you're alone at night, you get the void. The void comes back, and that's what... You get up in the morning to do this all over again, to fill the void. So it was like you're refilling. It's like having a car. When your car runs out of gas, you got to put more gas in it.
So I ran chaos through the whole day. Comes nighttime, I'm out of gas. So what am I going to do? As soon as the morning time comes up and I go outside, it's time to refuel and start it all over again. Chaos was something that I enjoyed at that moment. It makes you feel like you're untouchable, like nothing can happen to you. Everybody will be afraid to do anything to you. So it's, you know, it was satisfactory at the moment, in the day. But at night I knew something was wrong and something was off. It was a struggle. In other words, it was my soul rebelling against me. In some sense, I knew it was wrong. I knew something was wrong. But at the same time, I didn't have no belief in God.
Because my thing was, If God exists, why am I going through this? I was furious with God. I would even curse God before Islam. So you were angry with God about what? My mother killed my father. So, that made it where I was just, like, fuming. And then not only did she do that, but then she just got up and left. She just disappeared. I didn't, I didn't... I definitely doubted a creator. Because I felt that if there was a creator, why am I going through this? And then what happened? You went into prison. It was an assault and robbery on a drug dealer. It's a funny story. Because that same night that I was arrested, I already had decided that I was going to commit suicide.
I already had it planned out. because I didn't believe that there was anything left in life. And there was nothing worth living for. Why not just end it here? That's how I felt. I had no purpose in life. They arrested me at least two hours before I was going to commit suicide. And I went with them willingly. And when I went with them willingly, it's because of the crime that I committed. And now at force, not only am I not able to kill myself, I can't use drugs no more. I can't drink no more. There's no more partying. Everything is just stopped. There's no more crime. No more crime. You're just stuck in a space where you can get into trouble there. Or you could do...
What Allah blessed me to do was think. And that's how I found Islam. I had enough time to get off the drugs. I had enough time to get away from the alcohol. There's no gang members that I was associating myself with. I started getting clean. I started looking at where I went wrong, And then I started, starting... At a point it was like, okay, Now I know why I feel the way I feel. Now I got to face everything I did. Now I start feeling guilty. Now I start feeling bad. It was hard. It was hard because all of these things that you wanted to do, that you had in play stopped. It just stopped right there. To this day, I say that that was a mercy of Allah. Because I already had the gun.
I already had the bullet. I already had the way I was going to do it. What I didn't have in the plan was the police coming and knocking at the door and me opening up the door. And I was arrested that day. And I never saw my home until three years later. It was an experience that I can say that if it had to happen again to get the same results, that I was going to find Allah, I'd do it again. Because that's where Allah's message spoke to me. And what happened that you started to take these steps towards Islam? I started looking and I said, "There has to be an answer." There is a God. There's got to be a God. Because now you start looking at the way of creation. I was asking the...
I was questioning, saying, you know, there's got to be something more than what I'm thinking. And that's when the adhan was called. That, the muezzin that called the adhan, it was so beautiful that it took me towards where it was coming from. It was so loud that you can hear it in the yard. And I wanted to go where that was at. Because it was the calling. Not only was it the call of prayer, but it was the call to the answer you're looking for. I cried with the adhan being called. Because it was a calling. It wasn't just a calling to pray. It was a calling to wake me up. That your Lord is looking for you. You might want to head in that direction.
I waited for a brother that was in my dorm to come back. Then I started asking him questions. Because at first I thought it was a song, because it sounded so beautiful. It sounded like a song. And I said, "What was that song that was coming from the masjid?" And he was like, "There was no song." I said, "Yeah, yeah, there was. It was a song. I know it said Allahu Akbar." And he was like, "Oh, that was the adhan." And I said, "The adhan, what is that? What is that?" And he was like, "That's the call of prayer." "That's the call to let you know the prayer is about to start." I never heard nobody call the adhan like that. And he was like, "Let me guess.
You didn't have the time for people to teach you." And I was like, "No." But there was more questions. And a lot of them was, "Why is there more than one God?" And Islam answered that right off the jump. No, there's not more than one God. There's only one God. And I was like, wow, this is what I'm looking for. Because there's only one God. There's not a Isa as the Son of God. But there is the belief in Isa as a prophet and a messenger of Allah. So, that I was able to accept. So when I got upstate, it was a couple more questions that I asked, like, "Oh, why do you only pray on Sundays?" "No, we pray five times a day." Okay, that makes sense. Five times a day. Every day. I said, okay.
So it's not like the Christians and the Catholics that you can party from Monday to Saturday, and then go to church on Sunday and you're forgiven. That was another thing I had a hard time with. How do you disobey the Most High, from Monday to Saturday, and then Sunday you can go to church and be forgiven for everything you've done? No matter what it was. That didn't make no sense. That's why I rebelled against the religion. Until, like I said, Islam. Islam taught me that there is a difference. And when I found out that it was the last religion sent... It was here, but it had to be sent in this form. That's when I was like, okay. And how a brother told me was like, man keeps going in error.
And that was the purpose of these messengers coming. And Prophet Muhammad (saw) was the last of those prophets to be sent. The deen of Islam was the answer that I was looking for. It helped me, it helped me stay out of prison. It helped me, you know, make better choices in life I'd never... I stopped drinking, I never went back to using that type of drug anymore. How did it make you feel? It made me feel so good inside. Because it's like I got to restart to life. I was told that, which was one of the most beautiful things, is Islam does away with everything that went before it. So it was such a beautiful... It was beautiful to know that Islam does away with everything.
Even the crimes that I thought I would never be forgiven. Because, you know, murder is an unforgivable sin. But before Islam... When Islam came, I found out that I was able to be forgiven for that and anything else I did. And I started going to the mosque. And from there, Alhamdulillah, I embraced Islam the proper way. I was regiven my Shahada again. I felt good, actually. It brought my spirit and my soul back to life. In other words, like, my light was dim, it just ignited the light. It just made the light brighter. What was the first reason you were interested in Islam? The first time before you took your Shahada in Rikers Island?
Well, the realization of me getting off of drugs and knowing that I wasn't God. That's... And the way a brother worded, there's only one God. That got me interested into learning Islam. May Allah forgive me. When I was running around saying I was God, the first thing I said is, "I will never become a Muslim." This came out of my mouth. I would never become Muslim. I would never put my face on the floor. This is exactly what I said. I was not interested in Islam until I got to prison. And then you went outside the jail, and then you finished your sentence. When I finished my sentence, I left the jail and I was happy. Now it's time to take the message to your people.
I invited people to Islam in the gang. And Alhamdulillah, the brother Wesley and three other brothers accepted that call. And Alhamdulillah, my son says I inspired him to take his Shahada. Recently a brother came home from jail and he told me, "Brother, the reason why I became Muslim is watching you. And I wasn't listening to you at the time because I was drinking and drugging." He went to jail and he found Islam in there. And now, like when I see the brothers, it's a big difference. It's not somebody that I'm used to seeing anymore. I'm just happy that somebody heard that message. Was it difficult for you to give up all your bad habits and change your life? Oh yes, it was, brother.
I started removing myself from the people that don't do what I do. I started straying away from people that don't pray and don't have any belief, and staying around more the believers. Or with Muslims, absolutely. And the big change came when I moved from here to Connecticut. I didn't know anything about Muslims in Connecticut. And I enjoyed it that way. Because I have something in common. And one of my sayings that I heard, one of the things that I heard that I love is, Muslims are friends and protectors of one another.
And I also heard a brother, you know, he said that the Prophet Muhammad (saw) said that, "If you surround yourself with a certain type of people, you will become one of these people." So I started noticing that, every time I got around people that weren't doing what I was doing, that's where the problem came in. So it went reverse. Now I started staying around the people that are doing what I do, and it makes it much easier for me to stay on the path of Allah. Many people think that, okay, locking somebody inside a prison will make you a better person. After some time, he will learn his lesson and then become a better person. He will get his rehabilitation.
Do you think any system can achieve this other than Islam? Islam is the answer for mankind. The reason why I say that is because if it wasn't for Islam, I don't think I would have learned my lesson. I would have been coming in and out of jail. Or more than likely, I would probably be dead by now. As long as there was nothing to guide me, that's where the problem was at. And I believe that with my heart, with all my heart, that this is the answer. Ameen. There's a certain type of brotherhood in a gang. When you compare it to brotherhood in Islam... It's completely different. Most of the times brothers are scared and that's why they have an allegiance.
So, they show you that they love you in the gang because they don't know what's on your mind or what you can do to them. Whereas in Islam, the love is given to you freely. You know, it's not like I love you because I'm scared of you. In Islam, it's I love you because you are my brother. What impressed you the most about the Prophet Muhammad (saw)? The fact that he was willing to go through everything he went through, to give us this beautiful deen. He endured a lot of physical abuse, a lot of verbal abuse. He was denied numerous times. He was forced out of his home. And he did it all, and he was still humble about it. He was a man that did something that I don't think no human being can do.
Because it takes a certain type of person. And only that person can be a prophet or a messenger of Allah that can endure such hardship like that. And stay firm and strong and stay on the path of Allah. And continue to teach things the way Allah is asking it to be taught. That's what impressed me with the Prophet Muhammad (saw). The fact that he was not willing to give up on mankind, and that he was sent as a mercy to all of mankind. So imagine you made it to heaven, and you see Prophet Muhammad (saw). What would you like to say to him? Thank you. Thank you for bringing a deen that helped save a person like me.
Thank you for being someone that was willing to stand there and speak for me on the Day of Judgment. Thank you for being sincere in all Islam, and for teaching it to be a message of peace and not a message of anger and hate. And lastly, if there was a chance to speak to all the non-Muslims in the world, what would you like to say to them, if you had just a few moments? I would like to say, listen, open your heart. Open your ears. Don't be prejudiced. Don't look at what others have done. Look at Islam and get the message for yourself. It's a beautiful way of life. It has the answers to whatever you're looking for. And it will grant you peace.
It was so beautiful. I wanted to go where that was at because it was the call to... This is the answer you're looking for. The answer you're looking for. Assalamualaikum, brother Abdul Aziz. Alaikumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Thank you for accepting our invitation. Welcome to our interview. We are very happy to have you with us. I want to start with, who is Abdul Aziz? Can you tell us briefly about your life? I was born in Brooklyn, New York, until I was about ten years old and moved to the Bronx in about the 80s, the early 80s. I lived in a predominantly Latino, Black neighborhood. It wasn't as bad, but it did have its gangs and stuff like that.
And as growing up, I had a rough life growing up. I was an only child. My grandmother raised me, and my aunt. There were no other children in the house. I was a drug addict. I was an alcoholic. I was into a violent crimes. A lot of armed robberies, gang wars. My father died when I was three weeks old. And my mother left, and left me with my grandmother. So growing up like that, there's a lot of answers that you want, but you're not getting. At that point, I didn't know who I was, I didn't know what my purpose was, I really didn't care whether I lived or died at an early age. So I turned to the streets. And since a lot of the guys out there in the street, they accepted me, that's how I ran.
And that's where the gang life started. Because when you don't have that love and that attention in the house, you're going to get it out there. And it ain't going to be the correct attention that you want. So what happened was I took to that lifestyle. That lifestyle, it let me be who I wanted to be. I enjoyed the gang lifestyle. I did. I did enjoy it for a long time. I've been shot at. I've been jumped. I got stabbed once. I got hit with a bat. I got jumped numerous times, shot at many a times. I've shot at people. I wanted to live a life that was a gang life. And since I was young and no guidance, I took to it. You know the streets, you know... They will eat you alive.
Can you take us to those days? What kind of activities you were involved in? Whatever it took to make the next person fear me. It took anywhere from robbing drug dealers to shooting at other gang members, to getting into fights, constantly picking fights, proving that I was a lot more crazier than the next person. I spent most of my life proving that I was somebody you didn't want to get into a confrontation with. So anything from armed robbery, running into drug dealer's place of business and robbing them, shooting at them, them shooting at you. Go to parties, get into fights, because you don't like this gang. This gang doesn't like your gang. You're looking at each other.
And then it turns into, let's just shoot it out, why not? Or let's just fight outside and, you know. And that's what gang life was before. It's way different now. And it's kind of worse. But it wasn't as bad as how we did it, you know? Because when we did it, it was just crazy. There wasn't as many police, you know? So if anything happened, it would take at least an hour or two for the police to even respond to these type of things. Especially if it involved guns. The more I did it and the more people, it was, like, the more people talked about it, or they looked at it and they mentioned it, the more stronger I felt, the more excited I got. Because now I'm planting fear.
I'm becoming a menace to people, and I'm somebody that when you walk by, you don't want to play with me. I was a leader of the gang for at least 10, 11 years. I had a lot of members and we caused a lot of trouble. That's the life that I enjoyed. Because at the moment, it was the only life I knew. Because religion had no significance in my life at that point. Because the religion that I was being taught, I didn't accept. You had your gang in Bronx? I had my gang in Bronx. I had my gang in Queens. I had my gang in Brooklyn. I had different locations with different people. So I've... Brooklyn. Queens. The Bronx. Manhattan. Jersey. Philadelphia, Connecticut.
These were places that I had members that would come. And they would all come to the meeting. What was the worst thing that you committed that you're really regretful for? As Towards Eternity, we need your support. We are a charity organization that aims to spread the message of Islam to the entire world in ten languages. With your support, you can help people convert to Islam, give up harams, start praying, wear hijab, learn to read the Qur'an and so on, and get your share from all these good deeds Insha’allah. Donate to Towards Eternity and don't miss this golden opportunity. What was the worst thing that you committed that you're really regretful for?
Let's just say it's something that, if I wouldn't have embraced Islam, it's something that's real major. That, you know, it says in the Qur'an that when you kill a person, it's like you kill all of humanity. And when you save a person, it's like you save all of humanity. So I partook in destroying humanity at that point before Islam. Not only would I question it, I would curse my creator. Audhubillah. And it was out of hurt. The best time for the Shaitan to play with you is when you're hurt and you're angry. So how was your life in regards to faith? What were you believing in? I didn't really believe in anything. I was pushed into Christianity. I never was comfortable with Christianity.
It didn't make any sense to me. The fact that I had to pray to somebody else to intercede for me with my creator. So I had to ask Jesus, In order for God to hear me. I have to go through Jesus first. It's something that didn't make any sense, to pray to somebody that was here, yes. And human like I was and died. So it started conflicting with me. Because that's like, if I want to get a car off of the brother here, why do I have to go to you to go talk to him about the car? I can go talk to him directly. That's what I was looking for. That's what was missing. So, I did not believe.
As I was taught growing up, and this is where the contradiction comes in, is Jesus was the Son of God, and then that Jesus is God. You have to make up your mind. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Son of God. There's a problem here. And none of it made any sense. Because it's not just that the point of Jesus being the Son of God. It's also the Trinity. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. So now there's a Father, there's a Son. Now you're telling me there's a Spirit as well? That's where the conflict starts to come in. So I rebelled against the religion a lot. It got to a point where I really didn't believe in a creator at all. I started thinking that I was the creator.
And, you know, Audhubillah, that's how I acted. Like, you know, there was no creator. There was no higher power than I am. And now I'm rebellious. I'm young, I'm angry. How old were you then? I'd say I was about 18, 19 years old. So did your gang life start back then? My gang life started in the 80s. We're talking about the early 90s now with this. When you were how many years old? About ten years old. No mother. I mean no mother, no father in the house. No male role models. There was one time I was cornered in and I was shot at and it missed. And then there was another time that a guy came up and put a gun to me. And when he went to pull the trigger, the trigger didn't go off.
The gun didn't go off. So yeah, I've been through a lot. I was jumped one time and put in a hospital. I've been chased plenty of times that if I would have got caught... And at that point I really wasn't afraid of dying. But the street life, it played a major role in my life because of no guidance. So you were feared? Yes. But did that feel satisfactory to you? It was a satisfaction at the moment. But when you leave and you're alone at night, you get the void. The void comes back, and that's what... You get up in the morning to do this all over again, to fill the void. So it was like you're refilling. It's like having a car. When your car runs out of gas, you got to put more gas in it.
So I ran chaos through the whole day. Comes nighttime, I'm out of gas. So what am I going to do? As soon as the morning time comes up and I go outside, it's time to refuel and start it all over again. Chaos was something that I enjoyed at that moment. It makes you feel like you're untouchable, like nothing can happen to you. Everybody will be afraid to do anything to you. So it's, you know, it was satisfactory at the moment, in the day. But at night I knew something was wrong and something was off. It was a struggle. In other words, it was my soul rebelling against me. In some sense, I knew it was wrong. I knew something was wrong. But at the same time, I didn't have no belief in God.
Because my thing was, If God exists, why am I going through this? I was furious with God. I would even curse God before Islam. So you were angry with God about what? My mother killed my father. So, that made it where I was just, like, fuming. And then not only did she do that, but then she just got up and left. She just disappeared. I didn't, I didn't... I definitely doubted a creator. Because I felt that if there was a creator, why am I going through this? And then what happened? You went into prison. It was an assault and robbery on a drug dealer. It's a funny story. Because that same night that I was arrested, I already had decided that I was going to commit suicide.
I already had it planned out. because I didn't believe that there was anything left in life. And there was nothing worth living for. Why not just end it here? That's how I felt. I had no purpose in life. They arrested me at least two hours before I was going to commit suicide. And I went with them willingly. And when I went with them willingly, it's because of the crime that I committed. And now at force, not only am I not able to kill myself, I can't use drugs no more. I can't drink no more. There's no more partying. Everything is just stopped. There's no more crime. No more crime. You're just stuck in a space where you can get into trouble there. Or you could do...
What Allah blessed me to do was think. And that's how I found Islam. I had enough time to get off the drugs. I had enough time to get away from the alcohol. There's no gang members that I was associating myself with. I started getting clean. I started looking at where I went wrong, And then I started, starting... At a point it was like, okay, Now I know why I feel the way I feel. Now I got to face everything I did. Now I start feeling guilty. Now I start feeling bad. It was hard. It was hard because all of these things that you wanted to do, that you had in play stopped. It just stopped right there. To this day, I say that that was a mercy of Allah. Because I already had the gun.
I already had the bullet. I already had the way I was going to do it. What I didn't have in the plan was the police coming and knocking at the door and me opening up the door. And I was arrested that day. And I never saw my home until three years later. It was an experience that I can say that if it had to happen again to get the same results, that I was going to find Allah, I'd do it again. Because that's where Allah's message spoke to me. And what happened that you started to take these steps towards Islam? I started looking and I said, "There has to be an answer." There is a God. There's got to be a God. Because now you start looking at the way of creation. I was asking the...
I was questioning, saying, you know, there's got to be something more than what I'm thinking. And that's when the adhan was called. That, the muezzin that called the adhan, it was so beautiful that it took me towards where it was coming from. It was so loud that you can hear it in the yard. And I wanted to go where that was at. Because it was the calling. Not only was it the call of prayer, but it was the call to the answer you're looking for. I cried with the adhan being called. Because it was a calling. It wasn't just a calling to pray. It was a calling to wake me up. That your Lord is looking for you. You might want to head in that direction.
I waited for a brother that was in my dorm to come back. Then I started asking him questions. Because at first I thought it was a song, because it sounded so beautiful. It sounded like a song. And I said, "What was that song that was coming from the masjid?" And he was like, "There was no song." I said, "Yeah, yeah, there was. It was a song. I know it said Allahu Akbar." And he was like, "Oh, that was the adhan." And I said, "The adhan, what is that? What is that?" And he was like, "That's the call of prayer." "That's the call to let you know the prayer is about to start." I never heard nobody call the adhan like that. And he was like, "Let me guess.
You didn't have the time for people to teach you." And I was like, "No." But there was more questions. And a lot of them was, "Why is there more than one God?" And Islam answered that right off the jump. No, there's not more than one God. There's only one God. And I was like, wow, this is what I'm looking for. Because there's only one God. There's not a Isa as the Son of God. But there is the belief in Isa as a prophet and a messenger of Allah. So, that I was able to accept. So when I got upstate, it was a couple more questions that I asked, like, "Oh, why do you only pray on Sundays?" "No, we pray five times a day." Okay, that makes sense. Five times a day. Every day. I said, okay.
So it's not like the Christians and the Catholics that you can party from Monday to Saturday, and then go to church on Sunday and you're forgiven. That was another thing I had a hard time with. How do you disobey the Most High, from Monday to Saturday, and then Sunday you can go to church and be forgiven for everything you've done? No matter what it was. That didn't make no sense. That's why I rebelled against the religion. Until, like I said, Islam. Islam taught me that there is a difference. And when I found out that it was the last religion sent... It was here, but it had to be sent in this form. That's when I was like, okay. And how a brother told me was like, man keeps going in error.
And that was the purpose of these messengers coming. And Prophet Muhammad (saw) was the last of those prophets to be sent. The deen of Islam was the answer that I was looking for. It helped me, it helped me stay out of prison. It helped me, you know, make better choices in life I'd never... I stopped drinking, I never went back to using that type of drug anymore. How did it make you feel? It made me feel so good inside. Because it's like I got to restart to life. I was told that, which was one of the most beautiful things, is Islam does away with everything that went before it. So it was such a beautiful... It was beautiful to know that Islam does away with everything.
Even the crimes that I thought I would never be forgiven. Because, you know, murder is an unforgivable sin. But before Islam... When Islam came, I found out that I was able to be forgiven for that and anything else I did. And I started going to the mosque. And from there, Alhamdulillah, I embraced Islam the proper way. I was regiven my Shahada again. I felt good, actually. It brought my spirit and my soul back to life. In other words, like, my light was dim, it just ignited the light. It just made the light brighter. What was the first reason you were interested in Islam? The first time before you took your Shahada in Rikers Island?
Well, the realization of me getting off of drugs and knowing that I wasn't God. That's... And the way a brother worded, there's only one God. That got me interested into learning Islam. May Allah forgive me. When I was running around saying I was God, the first thing I said is, "I will never become a Muslim." This came out of my mouth. I would never become Muslim. I would never put my face on the floor. This is exactly what I said. I was not interested in Islam until I got to prison. And then you went outside the jail, and then you finished your sentence. When I finished my sentence, I left the jail and I was happy. Now it's time to take the message to your people.
I invited people to Islam in the gang. And Alhamdulillah, the brother Wesley and three other brothers accepted that call. And Alhamdulillah, my son says I inspired him to take his Shahada. Recently a brother came home from jail and he told me, "Brother, the reason why I became Muslim is watching you. And I wasn't listening to you at the time because I was drinking and drugging." He went to jail and he found Islam in there. And now, like when I see the brothers, it's a big difference. It's not somebody that I'm used to seeing anymore. I'm just happy that somebody heard that message. Was it difficult for you to give up all your bad habits and change your life? Oh yes, it was, brother.
I started removing myself from the people that don't do what I do. I started straying away from people that don't pray and don't have any belief, and staying around more the believers. Or with Muslims, absolutely. And the big change came when I moved from here to Connecticut. I didn't know anything about Muslims in Connecticut. And I enjoyed it that way. Because I have something in common. And one of my sayings that I heard, one of the things that I heard that I love is, Muslims are friends and protectors of one another.
And I also heard a brother, you know, he said that the Prophet Muhammad (saw) said that, "If you surround yourself with a certain type of people, you will become one of these people." So I started noticing that, every time I got around people that weren't doing what I was doing, that's where the problem came in. So it went reverse. Now I started staying around the people that are doing what I do, and it makes it much easier for me to stay on the path of Allah. Many people think that, okay, locking somebody inside a prison will make you a better person. After some time, he will learn his lesson and then become a better person. He will get his rehabilitation.
Do you think any system can achieve this other than Islam? Islam is the answer for mankind. The reason why I say that is because if it wasn't for Islam, I don't think I would have learned my lesson. I would have been coming in and out of jail. Or more than likely, I would probably be dead by now. As long as there was nothing to guide me, that's where the problem was at. And I believe that with my heart, with all my heart, that this is the answer. Ameen. There's a certain type of brotherhood in a gang. When you compare it to brotherhood in Islam... It's completely different. Most of the times brothers are scared and that's why they have an allegiance.
So, they show you that they love you in the gang because they don't know what's on your mind or what you can do to them. Whereas in Islam, the love is given to you freely. You know, it's not like I love you because I'm scared of you. In Islam, it's I love you because you are my brother. What impressed you the most about the Prophet Muhammad (saw)? The fact that he was willing to go through everything he went through, to give us this beautiful deen. He endured a lot of physical abuse, a lot of verbal abuse. He was denied numerous times. He was forced out of his home. And he did it all, and he was still humble about it. He was a man that did something that I don't think no human being can do.
Because it takes a certain type of person. And only that person can be a prophet or a messenger of Allah that can endure such hardship like that. And stay firm and strong and stay on the path of Allah. And continue to teach things the way Allah is asking it to be taught. That's what impressed me with the Prophet Muhammad (saw). The fact that he was not willing to give up on mankind, and that he was sent as a mercy to all of mankind. So imagine you made it to heaven, and you see Prophet Muhammad (saw). What would you like to say to him? Thank you. Thank you for bringing a deen that helped save a person like me.
Thank you for being someone that was willing to stand there and speak for me on the Day of Judgment. Thank you for being sincere in all Islam, and for teaching it to be a message of peace and not a message of anger and hate. And lastly, if there was a chance to speak to all the non-Muslims in the world, what would you like to say to them, if you had just a few moments? I would like to say, listen, open your heart. Open your ears. Don't be prejudiced. Don't look at what others have done. Look at Islam and get the message for yourself. It's a beautiful way of life. It has the answers to whatever you're looking for. And it will grant you peace.