“I Prayed to Jesus, But Islam Answered My Questions!” - A Christian Converts To Islam
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I always was a believer of God. I used to know the Bible front to back. People could ask me questions. You could basically say at the time I was like a hafiz of the Bible. All I hear from a long distance is just the "pat"! The bullet missed me, like maybe about an inch, and it was just in the wall behind me. That was my awakening. What am I going to go with this? What am I going to go with life? I don't feel like I'm in the right place. I knew all of these things, but things still weren't adding up to me. If Jesus is who we're supposed to be praying to, who did he pray to? He says, "Why thou hast forsaken me?" But who's thou? Who is he talking to? So then later on, I learned about Malcolm X.
One God, the Creator of the universe. You know, like belief in one God and one God only. Little by little, as I started taking a look at myself in Islam, I was a Muslim and I didn't even know it. Assalamualaikum, brother Melvin Felix, thank you for accepting our invitation. We are very happy to have you with us. I want to start with, who is Melvin Felix? Can you tell us briefly about your life? Waalaikumsalaam Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. I was born in Puerto Rico, but I was raised in New York as a little kid. I took my Shahada at the age of 15. So before Islam, like I said, I was raised as a Catholic. Every Sunday, going to church. That was pretty much a lot of my upbringing.
I was baptized, I did my Holy Communion. So, you know, I was pretty involved with my faith. I was doing community work even with the church. But some things just weren't adding up to me during that time period. And what didn't make sense to you in Christianity? Did you have problems about that faith? When I was a Catholic, a lot of the Trinity was pushed towards me. But one thing that I always... Like I said, I read the Bible a lot. I knew it back and forth. And when the Prophet Musa (as), he brought out the Ten Commandments and it stated, "Believe only in one God and thy God." The Trinity was just always like something that never added up to me. It didn't make any sense.
If Jesus is who we're supposed to be praying to, who did he pray to? We're told as Catholics that there was a thief next to Prophet Isa (as). "Come to the kingdom and be forgiven," and he forgives him. But at that time, while he's also on the cross, he says, "Why thou hast forsaken me?" But who's thou? Who is he talking to? Why is he pondering? Like, they always have him looking up into the sky. You know, trying to talk to God. And my thing is, if he's supposed to be who we're praying to, why is he reaching out to somebody else in order to answer his prayers? You know, in order to resolve certain situations in his life. So, that didn't make any sense to me. 1 in 3.
So, you know, I would ask questions about it, but it was just mostly answered, "It's blasphemy." "You shouldn't really be asking about these questions. This is your faith. This is what you're committed to." But to me, that wasn't good enough. I was more on a logical aspect. So to me, logically, it just wasn't giving me the answers that I needed. I was more roaming around. I was soul searching to try to see what was the right thing for me. How was your life before Islam? During my early childhood years, around 11 years old, I started gang banging. And one day I was just sitting down. And I was playing a game of dominoes, you know? And this is a time period where I'm kind of more calming down.
I'm still somewhat involved, but I'm not heavily involved like I used to be. And I'm just at the table playing dominoes, and all I hear from a long distance is just a "pow". So as soon as I hear the "pow", I get up and I run inside the house. So when I came outside and I looked where I was sitting at when I was playing dominoes, the bullet missed me like maybe about an inch. And it was just in the wall behind me, right in my seat. I don't know what the other shot went to, but that first bullet was almost a straight headshot. So after that, when I took a look and I realized that I was like, I'm still in this. Whether it's light or heavy, I'm still in this.
And if I'm still in this, then I'm basically going to be a target always. It's something that I want to continue. At that time I had kids, so that was my awakening. And again, I started doing some soul searching. I was like, What am I going to go with this? What am I going to go with life? What is there to look for after this? Even with that, that's a big change, too. Taking Shahada is a major change, but when majority of your life you're gang banging, you're involved in that activity and you walk away. It's a big change, too. How did you first hear about Islam, and how did your journey begin towards Islam?
So when I first heard about Islam, I had another closest friend that I lost a little bit of contact with him. I knew him since pre-kindergarten, like as a toddler, maybe about five years old, I knew him. And I finally met up with him later on in the high school years and he goes, "Yo, Mel, you gonna get yourself in some trouble?" "You know, this ain't for you, but I got something for you." So then that's when he gives me a book. And it's a printed out book. And when I take a look at the book, you know, it has the one-twenties, the supreme mathematics. And I'm looking at it. I'm like, what is all of this? So that gave me my first taste of Islam. But it wasn't the correct taste.
I was on the right track, but on the wrong train. So then, later on I learned about Malcolm X. So I was like, wait a minute. Malcolm was part of the Nation of Islam too. So was Clarence 13X. What happened with him? So, I started finding out about Malcolm. So as I started finding out about Malcolm, I went to the Nation of Islam themselves. So I went over there and I went to what was the new Temple Number 7. And I spoke to one of them, and I tried to gain an understanding. But I only lasted but a few days because it didn't make any sense to me. Because the Five Percenters, they don't pray, they don't do Salah or anything.
They think that, Astagfirullah, that Allah is within themselves, that each one is. The Nation of Islam believes that each one is the same thing, but they mix Salah. So I'm like, but who are you praying to? Are you answering your own prayers? This is not adding up to me. Again, logic. Same thing as I was a Catholic. Logically, this is not adding up to me. So I was like, okay. So then I found out that, you know, Malcolm became an actual Muslim, Sunni Muslim. So I started taking a closer look, you know, through my history class, and gathering some texts about the Muslims and stuff like that. And they were like, belief in one God and one God only.
And I was like, but that's what I'm talking about. That makes sense to me, because that was in the Commandments that Moses gave. So I was like, that makes a lot of sense. As Towards Eternity, we need your support. to the entire world in ten languages. world in ten languages. With your support, you can help people convert to Islam, give up harams, start praying, wear hijab, learn to read the Qur'an and so on. And get your share from all these good deeds, Inshallah. Donate to Towards Eternity and don't miss this golden opportunity. So, little by little as I started taking a look at myself in Islam, I was a Muslim and I didn't even know it.
The brothers, the Muslim brothers that were out in the streets selling miswak. I was using miswak since I was 13 years old, and I didn't even realize it before I even took Shahada. I was using miswak every day. I was raised that we eat with our right and clean with our left. So I'm like, that sounds familiar to me, don't it? So there was a lot of things in Catholicism that I learned that was in Islam as well too. So I was like, these are some similarities. Things are making sense. Things are adding up now. One plus one is equal to two here. All of this. So things started adding up to me. So I started reading more about Malcolm. So once I read about Malcolm, he went and he did his Hajj.
I was like, you know what, I can't make my Hajj. But you know what? It's time for me to take my Shahada. So I started doing some searching around, like, where do I even do this at? So I found out that the old Temple Number 7 was turned into an actual Sunni mosque. So at a time period, the Nation of Islam, Elijah Muhammad passed away, his son took over. His son took him from what idea they had before and turned a lot of them into Sunni. So, that Temple Number 7 became Malcolm Shabazz Masjid, which is still standing to this very day. So I said, you know what? What better place to take my Shahada than the place that Brother Malcolm preached? So I went right over there.
As soon as I got there, I think it was maybe Maghrib Isha. I walk in and I'm looking at him and I'm like, all right, I gotta find somebody who's the imam, but how can you tell who's the imam? So I walk in and I'm like, "Who's the imam?" So they point me over to the imam, and I walk up to him and I'm like, "I'm here for my Shahada." He goes and he turns around and he's like, "You're here for your Shahada. Are you sure?" I go, "Yeah, I'm here for my Shahada." "I'm here, I'm here, and I'm ready to take my Shahada." He goes, "Mashallah." He was so happy. He was like, "You know what that means?" I'm like, "Yeah." So, we stand to the side. We talk about the five pillars and we started talking.
Alhamdulillah, I took my Shahada. And it was one of the best things I could have ever done in my life. I felt like a certain weight, a certain burden, you know, lifted off my shoulders. I felt so happy and thrilled. Alhamdulillah. What convinced you that, now I should embrace Islam? This tawhid was enough for you, or were there other things? Like I said, it just made sense for me. I always was a believer of God, but I was like, I don't feel like I'm in the right place. Like I said, I used to know the Bible front to back. I used to read it, everything from the Old Testament to the New Testament. People could ask me questions.
You could basically say at the time I was like a hafiz of the Bible, you know? So it was like, I knew all of these things, but things still weren't adding up to me, you know? So then later on, like I said, I went and I started studying about Islam. I'll be honest with you, adapting to Islam was really difficult in the beginning. Because I'm Puerto Rican, so most of our cultural dishes is dealing with pork. So I was like, wow, so there's no more of that. I wasn't really heavy into drinking like that. But in the winter times we have a cultural drink. That got removed. So I was like, wow, all right. So, this is cultural change that I'm gonna have to make.
As a revert, it's really difficult trying to fit into the Muslim community. You know, because it's like, all right, we give Shahada, Mashallah. Then after that, what's next? You know, they got to remember that as a born Muslim as a child, you get taught all of these things, you know, they come to you naturally. You hear the stories of the prophets and all that other stuff. Nobody was there really to teach me Salah. Nobody told me how to read or recite Qur'an. So, I was pretty much on my own, and I was hungry. And I kept looking for things. But one main one that made a difference for me was, Alhamdulillah, Sheikh Yusuf Estes. I was always a political activist.
Even to this very day, I'm a political activist. And we were protesting the police brutality. I can't remember where exactly, but I was walking through the protest, and as I'm walking, it was like another sign from Allah. Wallahi, it was another sign. As I'm walking and I'm passing through, somebody just gives me a DVD, and it says "Islam Tomorrow." And I'm looking at it and I'm like... And this whole time I didn't know how to do Salah or anything like that. So I went home and as soon as I popped that DVD into the DVD player, tears started coming out of my eyes. Very first thing is, "Pray as you see me pray." So I learned how to pray watching the DVD.
And then I started learning a little bit of some stories. It was also like a CD, so if you took it out the DVD player and you put it in a boom box back in the days to play CDs, it will play the Qur'an. So I used to listen to the Qur'an. Can you tell about the next phase of your belief? So, I mean, I kept trying to fit in. You know, I kept trying to go to masjids and try to fit into the Muslim community. But again, it was difficult, I guess, maybe by the way my demeanor was, the way I was carrying myself. So, and I found Imam Wesley. So I reached out to Imam Wesley. I'm like, "What's going on?
Why is it so hard for me to integrate into the community?" He apologized for that, and he was like, "I know." You know, once I found Imam Wesley, I just stuck by his side. I told him the things, my background, where I came from. And, you know, he's been like a mentor. He's been my guidance. So I got my own libraries and things that I study in my house. And one thing that, you know, during my studies that I found was the hadith on the man who killed 99. And that's one hadith that I love to this very day. Because that always resonates deep within me because of the individuals that I hang around with. Thieves, murderers, you name it, I probably hung around them and whatnot.
And that shows the rahim of Allah that, you know, this man killed 99 and he was seeking tawbah. And on his way, you know, he died. And, you know, the angels were fighting, he's going to Hell, he's going to Heaven. And Allah asked, Well, where's his body closer to?" To the town of Tawbah, or back to where he committed these things?" And then when Allah stretched the land, gave him tawbah for him to enter Jannah. You know, that's something that I always tell anybody who's into, you know, like my former type of lifestyle. When they hear that, it just like opens their eyes and opens their hearts, Alhamdulillah. So what is the biggest change Islam has made in your life?
How do you see the difference between the Melvin before Islam and Melvin after Islam? So it's something that I'm still working on. It's definitely in my sabr, I've calmed down a lot. Because of the life that I was in, I was always angry. I was pretty upset a lot of the times because, you know, that's the way that you have to carry yourself. Like I said, when you're raised in that type of environment, you can't be a sucker. You have to be willing to fight whether it's win or lose and whatnot. So, that created a major impact on my life. So, you know, if somebody even looked at me wrong or whatever the case may be, I'll just go over there and punch them in the face, no questions asked.
I would just commit to violence without even a second thinking of it. Violence was like first nature and it wouldn't bother me at all. There was one guy I saw on the train and he was like, mean mugging. And, you know, he was upset or whatever. So I looked at him and as he's going down the train, he's literally cursing people out. He's literally telling individuals, "You know what? If you want to fight, let's fight." Me, back in the days, I would have heard that, oh, you want to fight? I would have took off my jacket, got up, and I would have just started swinging. All right, let's go. Let's do this. You want it? You gonna get it. Now, I looked at him and I said, "You know what?
You good brother." He looks at me and then I smiled at him. He went and he smiled back and his whole demeanor changed just with that. When he was walking down and I smiled at him, he smiled back at me. His whole from cursing to everybody to I want to fight and all this other stuff. He opened up, he started talking about what was his problem. "Well, I'm struggling," or whatever the case may be. I didn't have any change at the time, but I said, You know what?
You got Cash App or something?" He gave me his instagram, I sent something through Cash App, and I said, "Here, something so you could get something to eat, or whatever the case may be, just don't let it get the best of you." He was like, thank you. But the funny thing was, afterwards, my interaction went like that. And then afterwards he went on to the train, and everybody else, it was just the exact same thing. But with me, he calmed down, his demeanor changed, and he was like he was grateful. So imagine if somebody in the other car would have just smiled at him. He goes to the next car, somebody else would have smiled at him.
His demeanor would have been changing that whole time, would have been softening the individual's heart up. That's something that we got to, you know, take a look within ourselves. Not everybody's going through the same thing that we're going through. Somebody's going through a struggle. Something as simple as a smile can open up the heart. Now it's like Omar bin Khattab, the thief who stole from him. He started chasing him down and running him afterwards. Omar ibn Khattab, probably back in the days, struck him or whatnot. But what did he do? He went and he started running after him just to let him know, "For the sake of Allah, I love you. Don't worry about it.
Keep it." So that's something that I, you know, resonated in me. And a lot of the times I take a look at it and when somebody is giving me a look, kill them with kindness, smile, smiling and sadaqah. You know, maybe they're looking at you in that way, but they're not thinking about you. We don't know what's going through the other person's head, you know what I'm saying? As a Muslim, it should be our duty to try to make it ease amongst not only our own people, but everybody else around. Because it's a form of da'wah. If there was a chance to speak to all the non-Muslims in the world, what would you like to say to them if you had just a few moments?
What I would say to them is deep down in the hearts of everybody, I feel that they know that they're Muslims. We as Muslims have a thing called the fitrah, which is the natural state of individual. If you feel that Islam is right for you, what are you waiting for? Dig deeper. One thing that I tell everybody is, the one most beautiful thing that I find in Islam is the reward that you just get for intention. So beautiful. It's deep in your heart. It's already there. It's up to you to go and extract it out. Some of us, we're afraid. We take a good look. We're going to be labeled a terrorist. We're going to be labeled this, and we're going to be labeled that.
It's up to us to change that mindset. It's up to us to make a difference with that. So for all the non-Muslims out there, if you feel you're right on edge with Islam, like, you feel that that calling is there for you, don't wait. Because one thing that I learned was from Mufti Menk. There was a brother who wanted to take Shahada on Friday, but he died on Thursday. So, don't wait. Take your Shahada. Brother Mervin Felix, thank you so much for your sincere answers. May Allah preserve you, may Allah reward you, and may Allah allow you to Inshallah, die with faith and enter heaven and meet Inshallah with all of us. Inshallah in heaven. Inshallah. Jazakallah khair. Thank you. Jazakallah khair.
One God, the Creator of the universe. You know, like belief in one God and one God only. Little by little, as I started taking a look at myself in Islam, I was a Muslim and I didn't even know it. Assalamualaikum, brother Melvin Felix, thank you for accepting our invitation. We are very happy to have you with us. I want to start with, who is Melvin Felix? Can you tell us briefly about your life? Waalaikumsalaam Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. I was born in Puerto Rico, but I was raised in New York as a little kid. I took my Shahada at the age of 15. So before Islam, like I said, I was raised as a Catholic. Every Sunday, going to church. That was pretty much a lot of my upbringing.
I was baptized, I did my Holy Communion. So, you know, I was pretty involved with my faith. I was doing community work even with the church. But some things just weren't adding up to me during that time period. And what didn't make sense to you in Christianity? Did you have problems about that faith? When I was a Catholic, a lot of the Trinity was pushed towards me. But one thing that I always... Like I said, I read the Bible a lot. I knew it back and forth. And when the Prophet Musa (as), he brought out the Ten Commandments and it stated, "Believe only in one God and thy God." The Trinity was just always like something that never added up to me. It didn't make any sense.
If Jesus is who we're supposed to be praying to, who did he pray to? We're told as Catholics that there was a thief next to Prophet Isa (as). "Come to the kingdom and be forgiven," and he forgives him. But at that time, while he's also on the cross, he says, "Why thou hast forsaken me?" But who's thou? Who is he talking to? Why is he pondering? Like, they always have him looking up into the sky. You know, trying to talk to God. And my thing is, if he's supposed to be who we're praying to, why is he reaching out to somebody else in order to answer his prayers? You know, in order to resolve certain situations in his life. So, that didn't make any sense to me. 1 in 3.
So, you know, I would ask questions about it, but it was just mostly answered, "It's blasphemy." "You shouldn't really be asking about these questions. This is your faith. This is what you're committed to." But to me, that wasn't good enough. I was more on a logical aspect. So to me, logically, it just wasn't giving me the answers that I needed. I was more roaming around. I was soul searching to try to see what was the right thing for me. How was your life before Islam? During my early childhood years, around 11 years old, I started gang banging. And one day I was just sitting down. And I was playing a game of dominoes, you know? And this is a time period where I'm kind of more calming down.
I'm still somewhat involved, but I'm not heavily involved like I used to be. And I'm just at the table playing dominoes, and all I hear from a long distance is just a "pow". So as soon as I hear the "pow", I get up and I run inside the house. So when I came outside and I looked where I was sitting at when I was playing dominoes, the bullet missed me like maybe about an inch. And it was just in the wall behind me, right in my seat. I don't know what the other shot went to, but that first bullet was almost a straight headshot. So after that, when I took a look and I realized that I was like, I'm still in this. Whether it's light or heavy, I'm still in this.
And if I'm still in this, then I'm basically going to be a target always. It's something that I want to continue. At that time I had kids, so that was my awakening. And again, I started doing some soul searching. I was like, What am I going to go with this? What am I going to go with life? What is there to look for after this? Even with that, that's a big change, too. Taking Shahada is a major change, but when majority of your life you're gang banging, you're involved in that activity and you walk away. It's a big change, too. How did you first hear about Islam, and how did your journey begin towards Islam?
So when I first heard about Islam, I had another closest friend that I lost a little bit of contact with him. I knew him since pre-kindergarten, like as a toddler, maybe about five years old, I knew him. And I finally met up with him later on in the high school years and he goes, "Yo, Mel, you gonna get yourself in some trouble?" "You know, this ain't for you, but I got something for you." So then that's when he gives me a book. And it's a printed out book. And when I take a look at the book, you know, it has the one-twenties, the supreme mathematics. And I'm looking at it. I'm like, what is all of this? So that gave me my first taste of Islam. But it wasn't the correct taste.
I was on the right track, but on the wrong train. So then, later on I learned about Malcolm X. So I was like, wait a minute. Malcolm was part of the Nation of Islam too. So was Clarence 13X. What happened with him? So, I started finding out about Malcolm. So as I started finding out about Malcolm, I went to the Nation of Islam themselves. So I went over there and I went to what was the new Temple Number 7. And I spoke to one of them, and I tried to gain an understanding. But I only lasted but a few days because it didn't make any sense to me. Because the Five Percenters, they don't pray, they don't do Salah or anything.
They think that, Astagfirullah, that Allah is within themselves, that each one is. The Nation of Islam believes that each one is the same thing, but they mix Salah. So I'm like, but who are you praying to? Are you answering your own prayers? This is not adding up to me. Again, logic. Same thing as I was a Catholic. Logically, this is not adding up to me. So I was like, okay. So then I found out that, you know, Malcolm became an actual Muslim, Sunni Muslim. So I started taking a closer look, you know, through my history class, and gathering some texts about the Muslims and stuff like that. And they were like, belief in one God and one God only.
And I was like, but that's what I'm talking about. That makes sense to me, because that was in the Commandments that Moses gave. So I was like, that makes a lot of sense. As Towards Eternity, we need your support. to the entire world in ten languages. world in ten languages. With your support, you can help people convert to Islam, give up harams, start praying, wear hijab, learn to read the Qur'an and so on. And get your share from all these good deeds, Inshallah. Donate to Towards Eternity and don't miss this golden opportunity. So, little by little as I started taking a look at myself in Islam, I was a Muslim and I didn't even know it.
The brothers, the Muslim brothers that were out in the streets selling miswak. I was using miswak since I was 13 years old, and I didn't even realize it before I even took Shahada. I was using miswak every day. I was raised that we eat with our right and clean with our left. So I'm like, that sounds familiar to me, don't it? So there was a lot of things in Catholicism that I learned that was in Islam as well too. So I was like, these are some similarities. Things are making sense. Things are adding up now. One plus one is equal to two here. All of this. So things started adding up to me. So I started reading more about Malcolm. So once I read about Malcolm, he went and he did his Hajj.
I was like, you know what, I can't make my Hajj. But you know what? It's time for me to take my Shahada. So I started doing some searching around, like, where do I even do this at? So I found out that the old Temple Number 7 was turned into an actual Sunni mosque. So at a time period, the Nation of Islam, Elijah Muhammad passed away, his son took over. His son took him from what idea they had before and turned a lot of them into Sunni. So, that Temple Number 7 became Malcolm Shabazz Masjid, which is still standing to this very day. So I said, you know what? What better place to take my Shahada than the place that Brother Malcolm preached? So I went right over there.
As soon as I got there, I think it was maybe Maghrib Isha. I walk in and I'm looking at him and I'm like, all right, I gotta find somebody who's the imam, but how can you tell who's the imam? So I walk in and I'm like, "Who's the imam?" So they point me over to the imam, and I walk up to him and I'm like, "I'm here for my Shahada." He goes and he turns around and he's like, "You're here for your Shahada. Are you sure?" I go, "Yeah, I'm here for my Shahada." "I'm here, I'm here, and I'm ready to take my Shahada." He goes, "Mashallah." He was so happy. He was like, "You know what that means?" I'm like, "Yeah." So, we stand to the side. We talk about the five pillars and we started talking.
Alhamdulillah, I took my Shahada. And it was one of the best things I could have ever done in my life. I felt like a certain weight, a certain burden, you know, lifted off my shoulders. I felt so happy and thrilled. Alhamdulillah. What convinced you that, now I should embrace Islam? This tawhid was enough for you, or were there other things? Like I said, it just made sense for me. I always was a believer of God, but I was like, I don't feel like I'm in the right place. Like I said, I used to know the Bible front to back. I used to read it, everything from the Old Testament to the New Testament. People could ask me questions.
You could basically say at the time I was like a hafiz of the Bible, you know? So it was like, I knew all of these things, but things still weren't adding up to me, you know? So then later on, like I said, I went and I started studying about Islam. I'll be honest with you, adapting to Islam was really difficult in the beginning. Because I'm Puerto Rican, so most of our cultural dishes is dealing with pork. So I was like, wow, so there's no more of that. I wasn't really heavy into drinking like that. But in the winter times we have a cultural drink. That got removed. So I was like, wow, all right. So, this is cultural change that I'm gonna have to make.
As a revert, it's really difficult trying to fit into the Muslim community. You know, because it's like, all right, we give Shahada, Mashallah. Then after that, what's next? You know, they got to remember that as a born Muslim as a child, you get taught all of these things, you know, they come to you naturally. You hear the stories of the prophets and all that other stuff. Nobody was there really to teach me Salah. Nobody told me how to read or recite Qur'an. So, I was pretty much on my own, and I was hungry. And I kept looking for things. But one main one that made a difference for me was, Alhamdulillah, Sheikh Yusuf Estes. I was always a political activist.
Even to this very day, I'm a political activist. And we were protesting the police brutality. I can't remember where exactly, but I was walking through the protest, and as I'm walking, it was like another sign from Allah. Wallahi, it was another sign. As I'm walking and I'm passing through, somebody just gives me a DVD, and it says "Islam Tomorrow." And I'm looking at it and I'm like... And this whole time I didn't know how to do Salah or anything like that. So I went home and as soon as I popped that DVD into the DVD player, tears started coming out of my eyes. Very first thing is, "Pray as you see me pray." So I learned how to pray watching the DVD.
And then I started learning a little bit of some stories. It was also like a CD, so if you took it out the DVD player and you put it in a boom box back in the days to play CDs, it will play the Qur'an. So I used to listen to the Qur'an. Can you tell about the next phase of your belief? So, I mean, I kept trying to fit in. You know, I kept trying to go to masjids and try to fit into the Muslim community. But again, it was difficult, I guess, maybe by the way my demeanor was, the way I was carrying myself. So, and I found Imam Wesley. So I reached out to Imam Wesley. I'm like, "What's going on?
Why is it so hard for me to integrate into the community?" He apologized for that, and he was like, "I know." You know, once I found Imam Wesley, I just stuck by his side. I told him the things, my background, where I came from. And, you know, he's been like a mentor. He's been my guidance. So I got my own libraries and things that I study in my house. And one thing that, you know, during my studies that I found was the hadith on the man who killed 99. And that's one hadith that I love to this very day. Because that always resonates deep within me because of the individuals that I hang around with. Thieves, murderers, you name it, I probably hung around them and whatnot.
And that shows the rahim of Allah that, you know, this man killed 99 and he was seeking tawbah. And on his way, you know, he died. And, you know, the angels were fighting, he's going to Hell, he's going to Heaven. And Allah asked, Well, where's his body closer to?" To the town of Tawbah, or back to where he committed these things?" And then when Allah stretched the land, gave him tawbah for him to enter Jannah. You know, that's something that I always tell anybody who's into, you know, like my former type of lifestyle. When they hear that, it just like opens their eyes and opens their hearts, Alhamdulillah. So what is the biggest change Islam has made in your life?
How do you see the difference between the Melvin before Islam and Melvin after Islam? So it's something that I'm still working on. It's definitely in my sabr, I've calmed down a lot. Because of the life that I was in, I was always angry. I was pretty upset a lot of the times because, you know, that's the way that you have to carry yourself. Like I said, when you're raised in that type of environment, you can't be a sucker. You have to be willing to fight whether it's win or lose and whatnot. So, that created a major impact on my life. So, you know, if somebody even looked at me wrong or whatever the case may be, I'll just go over there and punch them in the face, no questions asked.
I would just commit to violence without even a second thinking of it. Violence was like first nature and it wouldn't bother me at all. There was one guy I saw on the train and he was like, mean mugging. And, you know, he was upset or whatever. So I looked at him and as he's going down the train, he's literally cursing people out. He's literally telling individuals, "You know what? If you want to fight, let's fight." Me, back in the days, I would have heard that, oh, you want to fight? I would have took off my jacket, got up, and I would have just started swinging. All right, let's go. Let's do this. You want it? You gonna get it. Now, I looked at him and I said, "You know what?
You good brother." He looks at me and then I smiled at him. He went and he smiled back and his whole demeanor changed just with that. When he was walking down and I smiled at him, he smiled back at me. His whole from cursing to everybody to I want to fight and all this other stuff. He opened up, he started talking about what was his problem. "Well, I'm struggling," or whatever the case may be. I didn't have any change at the time, but I said, You know what?
You got Cash App or something?" He gave me his instagram, I sent something through Cash App, and I said, "Here, something so you could get something to eat, or whatever the case may be, just don't let it get the best of you." He was like, thank you. But the funny thing was, afterwards, my interaction went like that. And then afterwards he went on to the train, and everybody else, it was just the exact same thing. But with me, he calmed down, his demeanor changed, and he was like he was grateful. So imagine if somebody in the other car would have just smiled at him. He goes to the next car, somebody else would have smiled at him.
His demeanor would have been changing that whole time, would have been softening the individual's heart up. That's something that we got to, you know, take a look within ourselves. Not everybody's going through the same thing that we're going through. Somebody's going through a struggle. Something as simple as a smile can open up the heart. Now it's like Omar bin Khattab, the thief who stole from him. He started chasing him down and running him afterwards. Omar ibn Khattab, probably back in the days, struck him or whatnot. But what did he do? He went and he started running after him just to let him know, "For the sake of Allah, I love you. Don't worry about it.
Keep it." So that's something that I, you know, resonated in me. And a lot of the times I take a look at it and when somebody is giving me a look, kill them with kindness, smile, smiling and sadaqah. You know, maybe they're looking at you in that way, but they're not thinking about you. We don't know what's going through the other person's head, you know what I'm saying? As a Muslim, it should be our duty to try to make it ease amongst not only our own people, but everybody else around. Because it's a form of da'wah. If there was a chance to speak to all the non-Muslims in the world, what would you like to say to them if you had just a few moments?
What I would say to them is deep down in the hearts of everybody, I feel that they know that they're Muslims. We as Muslims have a thing called the fitrah, which is the natural state of individual. If you feel that Islam is right for you, what are you waiting for? Dig deeper. One thing that I tell everybody is, the one most beautiful thing that I find in Islam is the reward that you just get for intention. So beautiful. It's deep in your heart. It's already there. It's up to you to go and extract it out. Some of us, we're afraid. We take a good look. We're going to be labeled a terrorist. We're going to be labeled this, and we're going to be labeled that.
It's up to us to change that mindset. It's up to us to make a difference with that. So for all the non-Muslims out there, if you feel you're right on edge with Islam, like, you feel that that calling is there for you, don't wait. Because one thing that I learned was from Mufti Menk. There was a brother who wanted to take Shahada on Friday, but he died on Thursday. So, don't wait. Take your Shahada. Brother Mervin Felix, thank you so much for your sincere answers. May Allah preserve you, may Allah reward you, and may Allah allow you to Inshallah, die with faith and enter heaven and meet Inshallah with all of us. Inshallah in heaven. Inshallah. Jazakallah khair. Thank you. Jazakallah khair.