"I Br*ke a Muslim's Nose and Rib Out of Hatred” - Brasilian Converts to Islam
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I come from a Catholic-Buddhist family. The first time I heard about Islam was during 9/11. Muslims were terrorists. Muslims were dangerous. There was this guy called Muhammad who was getting a little bit on my nerves. "Hey, buddy, you're messing with the wrong person, and you are actually also a Muslim. So let me put you back in your place." I ended up actually giving him two black eyes, broke his nose, and also one of his ribs. There was blood all over his shirt. "We're inviting you to our walima, which is our wedding celebration in Morocco." And on top of that, she brought her husband, who was Simo Mohammed, who was a long-bearded da'i (Islamic caller/preacher).
And there I was, just looking at the TV and changing channels. Say around 3:00 am, I hear this brother waking up. And then as soon as I heard "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the greatest)... I froze. I was mortified. Because we all know what happens after "Allahu Akbar": an explosion goes off. Simo Mohammed's silhouette was getting bigger and bigger, and I could hear the floor cracking, and he was approaching me. And I remember his hand being very palpable and big and coming in front of me... When I came back from Morocco, my enthusiasm for Islam went 10x.
Somebody would start talking trash about the Quran, I'd be like, “When's the last time you opened the book?” -“Never!” -“Shut your mouth.” Right after I was done with the movie, I call Usama and I tell him, "Usama, hey, bro, I'm a Muslim now." As-salamu alaykum (peace be upon you), brother Eduardo Dos Anjos. Thank you so much for being with us at Towards Eternity. We are very happy to have you with us. It's an honor and a pleasure. Wa 'alaykum as-salam (and upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah ). Thank you for having me. I'm honored. I want to start with: who is Eduardo Dos Anjos? Can you tell us briefly about your life? So I was born in Brazil, and I moved to Canada at the age of two.
I come from a Catholic-Buddhist family, and I grew up hating Muslims. And eventually, I fell in love with Islam. How was your life in regards to faith? What were you believing in? Yeah, so I come from a Brazilian Catholic family. My father, on the other hand, was a little bit more of a practicing Catholic, but the type that goes to church on Sundays and during the week forgets that he's Catholic. As my mom was a Buddhist, we had a little bit of a Buddhist flavor in our household. So my father did some remixes on his end, you know, when it came to faith. He mixed the different types of theologies. So I really grew up confused, to be very honest with you, when it came to faith.
So for me, religion was a subject that was very esoteric. It was very kind of interesting, but not something that I took very seriously. God, however, was a total, all-powerful, important force that you turn to in your darkest of moments, but it didn't go beyond that. But I just really felt uneasy, to be very honest with you, also, with Christianity. It didn't really appeal to my intellectual need of making it make sense. You understand? So for me, the idea of God being three was a misnomer. It was something that didn't really make sense at all. And how did you first hear about Islam? Did you have any prejudices?
So the fun fact about my reversion story is that the first time I heard about Islam was during 9/11. At least it was the first time that I started to take it seriously. Muslims were terrorists. Muslims were dangerous. These people are barbarians who deserve to be incarcerated, if not worse. Like most individuals, I took -- I took intellectual shortcuts. And I ended up being a hardcore Islamophobe. So after watching these scenes, obviously when I was in school and I was interacting with these Muslim individuals, I had anger towards them and hatred towards them. And I needed to make sure that I put them back in their place.
So in school, I would be a frontrunner when it came to intimidating and bullying Muslims. Specifically, I remember sitting in class at one point, and there's this guy called Abdul right in front of me, who I was completely, like, disgusted with because he was a Muslim, right? What can I do to make sure I can put him back in his place? Well, why don't we lit his hair on fire? So I took a lighter and literally lit his hair on fire. By the way, he left that day and we never saw him back again in the school. And I remember just pretending to be a suicide bomber on a bus and just... boom! To make people laugh, and to make the Muslims feel like, "Hey, you guys are idiots.
You just kill yourselves in the name of your religion," and, you know, it's just an opportunity to ridicule them essentially. There was this guy called Muhammad, who was getting a little bit on my nerves, and I used it as an opportunity to really make him understand that, "Hey, buddy, you're messing with the wrong person, and you are actually also a Muslim. So let me put you back in your place." I ended up actually giving him two black eyes, broke his nose, and also one of his ribs. There was blood all over his shirt, and I remember just the adrenaline rushing through my veins, and it's almost as if it had happened in a second. The police came to school to arrest me.
The following day, they took me while I was in math class and I went behind bars. My dad came to pick me up, and I even went to juvenile court for this. I had to do community service and group therapy, so that I can hopefully one day grow up to be a non-violent individual. And back then, the school actually supported me. They helped me with a lawyer, and they actually took my side, and not his. And it's quite sad when you think about it, because I didn't consider myself to be a violent individual. But that's what propaganda does to you. I was a troubled kid, but that extent of violence is never something that was, I think, in character for me. How did your story of becoming Muslim begin?
Yeah, so my conversion to Islam is a miracle, to be very honest with you. I really was at a dark place in my life. I had lost the appetite for life. I was not suicidal, but in my mind, if a car would have hit me, it would have solved a lot of problems. But I had this threshold where I could never do anything stupid like that, because my threshold was, "I can't make my mother cry." But in those desperate moments of feeling completely numb out of my existence, I remember just looking up in the sky and looking at the moon, and asking God to give me the truth. That's the first thing I asked.
And I asked Him to provide me the truth by sending me somebody who would introduce me to a tribe that would allow me to have a partner within that tribe, that could accompany me through life. So that was my environment. Every day I was on the streets with, you know, a skateboarding crew and doing stupid things, graffiti, and smoking, and drinking. And Secondary 5, a few years later, I meet this dude called Usama. Usama was just this really funky, funny, charismatic dude that came out of nowhere. International student -- for the first time in my life, I saw in my high school an international student come through.
So when I looked at him, I remember thinking to myself, "He's kind of weird, but he's interesting. He's funny." And one day, after a soccer game, we had a line up to drink water, and Usama was right in front of me. And at one point, well, he's about to drink water, he stops at the last minute. And I'm really annoyed, because I wanna drink, I'm super thirsty. And I'm like, "Bro, like, get out of the way. I wanna drink water. What are you doing here?" And he's like, "Yeah, I'm fasting. And you know, us Muslims, we're real men. We have self-control. We don't eat and we don't drink for an entire month. You Christians are weak. You just do whatever you guys want, whenever you want.
And you pretend to be real believers; we're real believers." And then I asked him, "So you're saying that if I wanted to actually fast, I wouldn't be able to?" He's like, "Exactly." So right there, right then, I told myself I'm gonna prove to this dude that I can do what he does easily. And I started to hang out with him during lunchtime, just to prove to him. I went back home, and finally it was time to eat, and something transformative happened. I was so hungry that as I was eating on my own in my room, I remember being so grateful for having food that I just started to bawl.
And as I was crying and wiping my tears away with my shirt, I remember looking at it and being like, "I have a uniform, 'cause I used to go to private school." And then one thought led to another thought: "I have access to quality education? Oh, my God. Wait. I have a roof over my head?!" As I was looking at the ceiling, and then I started to go again even deeper into this emotional rollercoaster. And then I asked myself, "Who pays for all of this? My mother. I have a mom. When is the last time I hugged my mom? When is the last time I..." I told my mom I loved her. So there I was, rushing towards my mom's room to express my love for her.
And I asked her, "Mom, please forgive me, I promise I will be a better son." And I'm just crying, bawling, and she looked at me and she asked me, "Eduardo, are you drunk?" And I said, "No, Mom, I'm not drunk." I just had a realization that I was a bad kid, and I promise I will do better. So I go back into my room with this epiphany where I start getting curious as to what else I could learn from this transformative religion. I just started flirting with it. And as I'm experiencing this religion, there's already this transformative power that fills my heart with gratitude, heals my wounds and my relationship with my mom. What else could transform me for the best?
What else could enhance me as a human being? I started to get to know him more, and as I'm learning about his story and finding him even more interesting, all the friends around me, though, were extremely annoyed by this. And I was always being told by my friends, "This guy's obnoxious, don't hang out with him. You know, you're part of the cool kids, your social creds are gonna go down." And I'm like, "I like the guy." I don't know why, but I like him. So one day he calls me, and he's like, "Hey, bro, my sister is here in Montreal alone as a foreign student, and she's really sad because it's her birthday and there's nobody to celebrate.
And I was thinking we could just organize something for her." And I said, "Yeah, no problem. You're my boy, I got this. I'll give her a VIP treatment at my dad's Mexican-Brazilian restaurant. We'll prepare something for her and she'll be happy." So then fast-forward to meeting her in person at the restaurant, I noticed that she has a hijab. And that made me extremely uncomfortable. And on top of that, she brought her husband, who was Simo Mohammed, who was a long-bearded da'i, someone who is professional at calling people to Islam. And I remember being really annoyed by that, but I felt like I had to push through because Usama, like I mentioned, was my boy, who I started to like.
He was already my best friend at that time, and I had to pay my social taxes with him. I thought it was the last time I was gonna see them. Little did I know, they had plans. But God also had a plan. And they told me, "Eduardo, you've hosted us with so much hospitality, we have to pay you back. So we're gonna invite you to Sherbrooke," which is a city about an hour and a half from Montreal. "And on top of that, we're inviting you to our walima, which is our wedding celebration in Morocco, to thank you for honoring us with your hospitality." And I'm looking at Usama, and I'm like, "Yeah, sure, let's go!" Fast-forward to Sherbrooke a few weeks later.
I'm there for the first time as an underage, 16-year-old boy. For the first time away from home, sleeping over, and being completely uncomfortable about this whole setup. But again, paying my social taxes 'cause Usama is my boy. And Usama's dad came to pick me up at the airport, but he never introduced himself as his father. He said, "I'm here to serve you. I'm gonna take care of you as if you're my son." And he was dressed simple. His car was simple. His manners were on point. So I'm just there witnessing all of this feeling completely amazed.
And this is only exacerbated by me looking at Usama's father getting on his knees and helping the gardener plant the flowers, and then going in the kitchen and helping the cook around the kitchen, and he has this massive team preparing the wedding ceremony 'cause it was happening in their home estate. And then me looking at this man emanate humility, and here you have this dude who's a person of clear means, acting in such a humble, servant way. So it shattered my notion of what a real man should be. It shattered my notion of success, and I remember just being completely paranoid and suspicious, like, these people, I can see through them.
They're just trying to make me put my guard down so that when I'm sleeping, they can cut my throat. So that paranoia completely forbade me from just being at ease. I told myself, don't be an idiot. There's a bit of a commotion as to them insisting for me to have the master bedroom, to sleep there 'cause I was their guest of honor. I ended up winning that fight by telling them I have insomnia and I'm just gonna take the couch, so it's fine. I ended up winning that fight. And there I was, just looking at the TV and changing channels. I don't remember exactly what time it was, but I would say around 3:00 a.m. I hear this brother waking up.
And then as soon as I started to hear this person start to wake up, my heart started pounding. And as soon as I heard "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the greatest)... I froze. I was mortified. Because we all know what happens after "Allahu Akbar". You see it on TV 24/7: an explosion goes off. So in my mind, this dude was doing his spiritual rituals to prepare himself to come and slit my throat and give an offering to his God or whatever he was into. I don't know, but it wasn't good because "Allahu Akbar" had a very negative connotation for me. I was unable to move. I asked, "Why did you come here, Eduardo? You're such an idiot!
Like, you know these people are dangerous, and here you are, stuck, and you're about to be killed!" And I remember asking specifically for God to save me from this impossible situation. I was praying, asking God for help. Simo Mohammed's silhouette was getting bigger and bigger, and I could hear the floor cracking and he was approaching me, and I remember his hand being very palpable and big and coming in front of me, and he took this blanket, covered me, closed the light, closed the TV, and he went back to sleep. From that moment, right there, right then, I knew it in my heart: it's impossible for these individuals to be bad people.
My mom always told me that if you really wanna know who you are as an individual, you have to look at yourself when no one is looking. That's your essence. And here you have this brother, who in the middle of the night when no one is looking, is waking up to have a conversation and a dialogue with his Lord. And that conversation propels him to want to do good towards his guest who he has already gone above and beyond in treating as a first-class VIP. So I was just feeling so ashamed of myself, because I knew I wasn't raised to be prejudiced. I knew I wasn't raised to be racist. And I knew I was better than that. And I felt completely... I guess the right word would be, ashamed.
And that's the first time that Allah softened my heart for Islam and towards Muslims. So the next day, Simo Mohammed tells me he's going to pray Jumu'ah, which is the obligatory prayer for Friday for males. And I, um, was approached and he asked me if I want to go with him. I said, "Of course, I'm coming with you." And it was the first time I went to a mosque and I remember being completely amazed as I saw everybody in this very stoic, simple environment where people put their forehead, their faces, the most honorable part of their body, on the floor, to worship their Lord. And for the first time in my life, I prayed and I remember feeling rejuvenated.
I didn't know what I was doing, but God was putting me in that environment where I really felt inside of me that I was coming back to life. No pictures. There were no chairs, there were no benches, there was nothing other than an environment that was conducive for you to focus. Focus on who? Focus on God. But then, Usama's brother with such wisdom, that he made me actually feel as a Christian that I was an honorable person to him, because he mentioned Jesus -- 'Isa (Jesus) -- name was mentioned 25 times more in the Quran than Muhammad (pbuh).
And he also told me, "We have a chapter that's called Maryam (Mary), and, you know, we as Muslims actually respect Christians because we believe that the Bible was actually a part of revelation, but throughout history, unfortunately, it was corrupted and changed. But we don't know which part was changed and which part kept the same, so we have to respect the entirety of it." I felt like, wow, these people honor us. These people are not bashing us. All I hear all day are Christians bashing Muslims, and here you have these Muslims speaking with so much respect towards Christians.
So I was already right there falling further in love with these individuals and this way of life, that when I came back from Morocco, my enthusiasm for Islam went 10x. So every time I had somebody in my environment or my vicinity badmouthing Muslims and Islam, I would confront them head-on. Somebody would start talking trash about the Quran, I'd be like, "When's the last time you opened the book? Never! Shut your mouth," right? Very kinda aggressive and bold way of being an advocate for Muslims. Some people actually said, "Are you Muslim, Eduardo? Like, what's going on with you? You've changed." And I started to fast. For your information, I was fasting before converting to Islam.
I fasted two times. So people kinda saw it coming, and people were already speculating that it was gonna happen. I just didn't know. Until the very last minute where I decided to convert to Islam, I had no idea that this was gonna happen. Then I came across the story of Malcolm X. And Malcolm X gave me the courage to convert to Islam, because the story of this man is a very powerful and sobering reminder that your goal in life is not to look for safety, is not to look for comfort, but for truth. And he did it in such a fearless way throughout his entire life, that he ended up being the archetype of bravery for me as to what real manhood is in the modern times we live in.
Right after I was done with the movie, I call Usama and I tell him, "Usama, hey, bro, I'm a Muslim now." And Usama's like, "Allahu Akbar,, takbir (saying Allah is the greatest)!" He's so excited, he's screaming, and he's basically talking to me as if like I'm already a Muslim. So he's saying, "Masha'Allah (as Allah willed it)." I had never heard him say these things before because he was very sensitive to language and how he spoke to me. And he's like, "Did you do your shahada (Islamic declaration of faith)? And, you know, this is exciting. Tell me more." I was like, "Do my what? Shahada?" To me, I thought it was like a sort of food that I had to eat, like shawarma.
And I was like, "What's that? I just became a Muslim, like what are you talking about?" He's like, "No, but you have to do your shahada." "What is that?" And he tells me, "Well, that means you have to give the testimony of faith." So I did my testimony of faith with him on the phone. So then Usama says, "I'll bring you to the mosque." And there I was at the mosque with him at ICQ, Islamic Center of Quebec, and I remember as I'm giving my shahada, I'm just in this environment where all I see are Bengalis, Pakistanis, Indians, Arabs, and I had this huge culture shock. I remember thinking to myself, "Eduardo, do you really know what you got yourself into?
Like, this doesn't look like your crowd. People with big beards and turbans, and they were wearing the kufiyas (traditional Arabian headdresses), thobes (traditional Arabian garments)." And I just felt like I was in the wrong crowd. And to make the matter even more intense, after my shahada, all of these men come and hug me and kiss me, and I remember just being completely overwhelmed by this, because I had never hugged a man before. Okay? Like, I would barely hug my dad. And now I have these big, bearded men coming, hugging me and kissing me on the forehead. So for me it was like an affront to my manhood.
But I remember the brothers were just so sincere and teary and happy, that I knew there was something special going on that was beyond my understanding of the moment. When I gave my shahada, there was this brother who came to me and looked at me in the eyes, and he said, "Brother, I'm going to give you a very important advice, and I want you to promise me you are never going to forget it: look at Islam, and don't look at Muslims." And I don't know for what reason, I knew he was saying something essential, and I took that advice, and it saved my faith many times.
And in my particular case, the most powerful, I would say, moment was my du'a (supplication) being answered full circle, where I asked God for three things: send me a foreigner to give me the truth, so I can be part of this tribe that's on truth, so I can have also a companion from that tribe for the rest of my life. Usama was that foreigner who came with that message, right? He gave me access to that tribe with the message of Islam, and I ended up marrying a Moroccan. So, you can't make that stuff up. How challenging was it to embrace an Islamic lifestyle, avoiding harams (forbidden things), praying five times a day, etc.?
As a matter of fact, when I converted to Islam, I didn't start to become this pious guy right away. The following week, I was on the beach, and I had my prayer sheets that I had just printed before getting onto the plane, that I was using to learn how to pray on the beach, topless with shorts, earrings, and a hat on. You understand? So I was really struggling, but I was doing the best that I could. Becoming a Muslim, especially when you had the lifestyle that I had, is literally like learning to live again. It's like learning to use your left hand if you're right-handed or vice versa; it's counterintuitive.
But what helped me the most is when I started to actually change environment and be involved within the Muslim Student Association at the university where I was, and being surrounded with people who were able to act as mentors for me. And it was tough, though, because I didn't gel with a lot of Muslims, and you have to understand this was like right after 9/11, so a lot of Muslims were very apologetic, you know, about their faith, and it was very difficult for me to find strong bonds with Muslims. And don't get me wrong, I never had doubts about Islam. I was always convinced.
But I had serious doubts of whether or not I would have the strength to carry on this journey as a Muslim, because it was so hard environmentally speaking -- I was swimming against a haram (forbidden) current. Then I realized you can't swim against this current, you have to change lanes. And that's what I've done, alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah). After your conversion to Islam, has anyone around you become Muslim as well? Did anyone of your family members embrace Islam later? I have a new revert Latino friend, and I'm so happy 'cause I'm hanging out with him and we're having fun.
And one day, he, you know, has this birthday celebration in his basement with another dude that went to my high school that was his best friend, and we're there in this environment that's not very halal (permissible). There's a lot of wrong things going on. So then he announces, after reciting the Fatiha (first chapter of the Quran), he starts saying that he's going to give his best Quebecer friend, who was a mutual friend of ours, the best gift that a friend could offer to his best friend.
And I'm looking at that from afar and I'm like, "I hope it's not the Quran.” Because if he gives the Quran to this guy, he's gonna roll the papers inside to smoke joints, 'cause I've never seen that dude sober in his life. He was always high or always drunk. So I judged him. So our Quebecer friend walks towards him, takes the gift, and almost tripped on his way there 'cause he was drunk. And says, "Oh, oh, thank you, that's really nice of you." And then he opens it and I saw it was the Quran.
So then in my mind I was like, "Ah, what a bad use of the Quran." Months later, if not a year later, I'm at this mosque close to my in-laws after dinner, and we just finished praying 'Isha (night prayer) and someone just taps me on the back. And I look. And it's that dude who my Peruvian friend gave the Quran to. And he says, "As-salamu alaykum, how are you doing?" And I'm like, not understanding what's going on. And it took me a few minutes to realize that the guy who received the Quran from my Peruvian friend converted to Islam. The first thing that I told the brother, I remember, after he explained to me his new situation, is, "I'm sorry, I have to be very honest with you.
I had judged you, and I thought that you were going to waste that Quran and roll joints with it." And I apologized right away, because there you go, once again, you never know who Allah will guide. What impressed you the most about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)? Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was the archetype of manhood and character. And it took me a long time to really understand the impact of his persona in the world, because in this journey of learning about Islam, you often time get told that you have to love him. But to know somebody takes time. And after reading several biographies of our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I came to realize that he is Hujjat al-Islam, he is the proof of Islam.
He is a miracle in and of itself, because of the flawlessness of his character and his integrity, the humility, also... how many times did Allah (the Most Glorified and High) correct him? And it was never personal. He adjusted right away. "As long as You're content with me, that's all I want. Forgive me." Imagine that 'alayhi as-salat wa as-salam (peace be upon him) enters this room. What would be the first words you would want to say to him? I don't think I'll be able to speak. I -- I don't know if I would even be able to look at him. I would probably wanna kiss his feet. Um... yeah. May Allah allow us to meet him in Jannah (heaven), Insha'Allah (if Allah wills). Amin (amen).
If you had a chance to speak to all the non-Muslims in the world, maybe especially Brazilians and Canadians, what would you like to say to them in just a few minutes? I would say, give Islam a chance. Truth be told, Islamophobia is manufactured. It's not a random world event. There are people behind this industry that are working overtime for the masses to be confused about who Muslims are and what we stand for. And as a society that prides itself on being rational and reasonable, I think it's important to walk the talk, and not allow ourselves to be brainwashed by cheap propaganda. Have you also converted to Islam but don't know where to start?
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And there I was, just looking at the TV and changing channels. Say around 3:00 am, I hear this brother waking up. And then as soon as I heard "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the greatest)... I froze. I was mortified. Because we all know what happens after "Allahu Akbar": an explosion goes off. Simo Mohammed's silhouette was getting bigger and bigger, and I could hear the floor cracking, and he was approaching me. And I remember his hand being very palpable and big and coming in front of me... When I came back from Morocco, my enthusiasm for Islam went 10x.
Somebody would start talking trash about the Quran, I'd be like, “When's the last time you opened the book?” -“Never!” -“Shut your mouth.” Right after I was done with the movie, I call Usama and I tell him, "Usama, hey, bro, I'm a Muslim now." As-salamu alaykum (peace be upon you), brother Eduardo Dos Anjos. Thank you so much for being with us at Towards Eternity. We are very happy to have you with us. It's an honor and a pleasure. Wa 'alaykum as-salam (and upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah ). Thank you for having me. I'm honored. I want to start with: who is Eduardo Dos Anjos? Can you tell us briefly about your life? So I was born in Brazil, and I moved to Canada at the age of two.
I come from a Catholic-Buddhist family, and I grew up hating Muslims. And eventually, I fell in love with Islam. How was your life in regards to faith? What were you believing in? Yeah, so I come from a Brazilian Catholic family. My father, on the other hand, was a little bit more of a practicing Catholic, but the type that goes to church on Sundays and during the week forgets that he's Catholic. As my mom was a Buddhist, we had a little bit of a Buddhist flavor in our household. So my father did some remixes on his end, you know, when it came to faith. He mixed the different types of theologies. So I really grew up confused, to be very honest with you, when it came to faith.
So for me, religion was a subject that was very esoteric. It was very kind of interesting, but not something that I took very seriously. God, however, was a total, all-powerful, important force that you turn to in your darkest of moments, but it didn't go beyond that. But I just really felt uneasy, to be very honest with you, also, with Christianity. It didn't really appeal to my intellectual need of making it make sense. You understand? So for me, the idea of God being three was a misnomer. It was something that didn't really make sense at all. And how did you first hear about Islam? Did you have any prejudices?
So the fun fact about my reversion story is that the first time I heard about Islam was during 9/11. At least it was the first time that I started to take it seriously. Muslims were terrorists. Muslims were dangerous. These people are barbarians who deserve to be incarcerated, if not worse. Like most individuals, I took -- I took intellectual shortcuts. And I ended up being a hardcore Islamophobe. So after watching these scenes, obviously when I was in school and I was interacting with these Muslim individuals, I had anger towards them and hatred towards them. And I needed to make sure that I put them back in their place.
So in school, I would be a frontrunner when it came to intimidating and bullying Muslims. Specifically, I remember sitting in class at one point, and there's this guy called Abdul right in front of me, who I was completely, like, disgusted with because he was a Muslim, right? What can I do to make sure I can put him back in his place? Well, why don't we lit his hair on fire? So I took a lighter and literally lit his hair on fire. By the way, he left that day and we never saw him back again in the school. And I remember just pretending to be a suicide bomber on a bus and just... boom! To make people laugh, and to make the Muslims feel like, "Hey, you guys are idiots.
You just kill yourselves in the name of your religion," and, you know, it's just an opportunity to ridicule them essentially. There was this guy called Muhammad, who was getting a little bit on my nerves, and I used it as an opportunity to really make him understand that, "Hey, buddy, you're messing with the wrong person, and you are actually also a Muslim. So let me put you back in your place." I ended up actually giving him two black eyes, broke his nose, and also one of his ribs. There was blood all over his shirt, and I remember just the adrenaline rushing through my veins, and it's almost as if it had happened in a second. The police came to school to arrest me.
The following day, they took me while I was in math class and I went behind bars. My dad came to pick me up, and I even went to juvenile court for this. I had to do community service and group therapy, so that I can hopefully one day grow up to be a non-violent individual. And back then, the school actually supported me. They helped me with a lawyer, and they actually took my side, and not his. And it's quite sad when you think about it, because I didn't consider myself to be a violent individual. But that's what propaganda does to you. I was a troubled kid, but that extent of violence is never something that was, I think, in character for me. How did your story of becoming Muslim begin?
Yeah, so my conversion to Islam is a miracle, to be very honest with you. I really was at a dark place in my life. I had lost the appetite for life. I was not suicidal, but in my mind, if a car would have hit me, it would have solved a lot of problems. But I had this threshold where I could never do anything stupid like that, because my threshold was, "I can't make my mother cry." But in those desperate moments of feeling completely numb out of my existence, I remember just looking up in the sky and looking at the moon, and asking God to give me the truth. That's the first thing I asked.
And I asked Him to provide me the truth by sending me somebody who would introduce me to a tribe that would allow me to have a partner within that tribe, that could accompany me through life. So that was my environment. Every day I was on the streets with, you know, a skateboarding crew and doing stupid things, graffiti, and smoking, and drinking. And Secondary 5, a few years later, I meet this dude called Usama. Usama was just this really funky, funny, charismatic dude that came out of nowhere. International student -- for the first time in my life, I saw in my high school an international student come through.
So when I looked at him, I remember thinking to myself, "He's kind of weird, but he's interesting. He's funny." And one day, after a soccer game, we had a line up to drink water, and Usama was right in front of me. And at one point, well, he's about to drink water, he stops at the last minute. And I'm really annoyed, because I wanna drink, I'm super thirsty. And I'm like, "Bro, like, get out of the way. I wanna drink water. What are you doing here?" And he's like, "Yeah, I'm fasting. And you know, us Muslims, we're real men. We have self-control. We don't eat and we don't drink for an entire month. You Christians are weak. You just do whatever you guys want, whenever you want.
And you pretend to be real believers; we're real believers." And then I asked him, "So you're saying that if I wanted to actually fast, I wouldn't be able to?" He's like, "Exactly." So right there, right then, I told myself I'm gonna prove to this dude that I can do what he does easily. And I started to hang out with him during lunchtime, just to prove to him. I went back home, and finally it was time to eat, and something transformative happened. I was so hungry that as I was eating on my own in my room, I remember being so grateful for having food that I just started to bawl.
And as I was crying and wiping my tears away with my shirt, I remember looking at it and being like, "I have a uniform, 'cause I used to go to private school." And then one thought led to another thought: "I have access to quality education? Oh, my God. Wait. I have a roof over my head?!" As I was looking at the ceiling, and then I started to go again even deeper into this emotional rollercoaster. And then I asked myself, "Who pays for all of this? My mother. I have a mom. When is the last time I hugged my mom? When is the last time I..." I told my mom I loved her. So there I was, rushing towards my mom's room to express my love for her.
And I asked her, "Mom, please forgive me, I promise I will be a better son." And I'm just crying, bawling, and she looked at me and she asked me, "Eduardo, are you drunk?" And I said, "No, Mom, I'm not drunk." I just had a realization that I was a bad kid, and I promise I will do better. So I go back into my room with this epiphany where I start getting curious as to what else I could learn from this transformative religion. I just started flirting with it. And as I'm experiencing this religion, there's already this transformative power that fills my heart with gratitude, heals my wounds and my relationship with my mom. What else could transform me for the best?
What else could enhance me as a human being? I started to get to know him more, and as I'm learning about his story and finding him even more interesting, all the friends around me, though, were extremely annoyed by this. And I was always being told by my friends, "This guy's obnoxious, don't hang out with him. You know, you're part of the cool kids, your social creds are gonna go down." And I'm like, "I like the guy." I don't know why, but I like him. So one day he calls me, and he's like, "Hey, bro, my sister is here in Montreal alone as a foreign student, and she's really sad because it's her birthday and there's nobody to celebrate.
And I was thinking we could just organize something for her." And I said, "Yeah, no problem. You're my boy, I got this. I'll give her a VIP treatment at my dad's Mexican-Brazilian restaurant. We'll prepare something for her and she'll be happy." So then fast-forward to meeting her in person at the restaurant, I noticed that she has a hijab. And that made me extremely uncomfortable. And on top of that, she brought her husband, who was Simo Mohammed, who was a long-bearded da'i, someone who is professional at calling people to Islam. And I remember being really annoyed by that, but I felt like I had to push through because Usama, like I mentioned, was my boy, who I started to like.
He was already my best friend at that time, and I had to pay my social taxes with him. I thought it was the last time I was gonna see them. Little did I know, they had plans. But God also had a plan. And they told me, "Eduardo, you've hosted us with so much hospitality, we have to pay you back. So we're gonna invite you to Sherbrooke," which is a city about an hour and a half from Montreal. "And on top of that, we're inviting you to our walima, which is our wedding celebration in Morocco, to thank you for honoring us with your hospitality." And I'm looking at Usama, and I'm like, "Yeah, sure, let's go!" Fast-forward to Sherbrooke a few weeks later.
I'm there for the first time as an underage, 16-year-old boy. For the first time away from home, sleeping over, and being completely uncomfortable about this whole setup. But again, paying my social taxes 'cause Usama is my boy. And Usama's dad came to pick me up at the airport, but he never introduced himself as his father. He said, "I'm here to serve you. I'm gonna take care of you as if you're my son." And he was dressed simple. His car was simple. His manners were on point. So I'm just there witnessing all of this feeling completely amazed.
And this is only exacerbated by me looking at Usama's father getting on his knees and helping the gardener plant the flowers, and then going in the kitchen and helping the cook around the kitchen, and he has this massive team preparing the wedding ceremony 'cause it was happening in their home estate. And then me looking at this man emanate humility, and here you have this dude who's a person of clear means, acting in such a humble, servant way. So it shattered my notion of what a real man should be. It shattered my notion of success, and I remember just being completely paranoid and suspicious, like, these people, I can see through them.
They're just trying to make me put my guard down so that when I'm sleeping, they can cut my throat. So that paranoia completely forbade me from just being at ease. I told myself, don't be an idiot. There's a bit of a commotion as to them insisting for me to have the master bedroom, to sleep there 'cause I was their guest of honor. I ended up winning that fight by telling them I have insomnia and I'm just gonna take the couch, so it's fine. I ended up winning that fight. And there I was, just looking at the TV and changing channels. I don't remember exactly what time it was, but I would say around 3:00 a.m. I hear this brother waking up.
And then as soon as I started to hear this person start to wake up, my heart started pounding. And as soon as I heard "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the greatest)... I froze. I was mortified. Because we all know what happens after "Allahu Akbar". You see it on TV 24/7: an explosion goes off. So in my mind, this dude was doing his spiritual rituals to prepare himself to come and slit my throat and give an offering to his God or whatever he was into. I don't know, but it wasn't good because "Allahu Akbar" had a very negative connotation for me. I was unable to move. I asked, "Why did you come here, Eduardo? You're such an idiot!
Like, you know these people are dangerous, and here you are, stuck, and you're about to be killed!" And I remember asking specifically for God to save me from this impossible situation. I was praying, asking God for help. Simo Mohammed's silhouette was getting bigger and bigger, and I could hear the floor cracking and he was approaching me, and I remember his hand being very palpable and big and coming in front of me, and he took this blanket, covered me, closed the light, closed the TV, and he went back to sleep. From that moment, right there, right then, I knew it in my heart: it's impossible for these individuals to be bad people.
My mom always told me that if you really wanna know who you are as an individual, you have to look at yourself when no one is looking. That's your essence. And here you have this brother, who in the middle of the night when no one is looking, is waking up to have a conversation and a dialogue with his Lord. And that conversation propels him to want to do good towards his guest who he has already gone above and beyond in treating as a first-class VIP. So I was just feeling so ashamed of myself, because I knew I wasn't raised to be prejudiced. I knew I wasn't raised to be racist. And I knew I was better than that. And I felt completely... I guess the right word would be, ashamed.
And that's the first time that Allah softened my heart for Islam and towards Muslims. So the next day, Simo Mohammed tells me he's going to pray Jumu'ah, which is the obligatory prayer for Friday for males. And I, um, was approached and he asked me if I want to go with him. I said, "Of course, I'm coming with you." And it was the first time I went to a mosque and I remember being completely amazed as I saw everybody in this very stoic, simple environment where people put their forehead, their faces, the most honorable part of their body, on the floor, to worship their Lord. And for the first time in my life, I prayed and I remember feeling rejuvenated.
I didn't know what I was doing, but God was putting me in that environment where I really felt inside of me that I was coming back to life. No pictures. There were no chairs, there were no benches, there was nothing other than an environment that was conducive for you to focus. Focus on who? Focus on God. But then, Usama's brother with such wisdom, that he made me actually feel as a Christian that I was an honorable person to him, because he mentioned Jesus -- 'Isa (Jesus) -- name was mentioned 25 times more in the Quran than Muhammad (pbuh).
And he also told me, "We have a chapter that's called Maryam (Mary), and, you know, we as Muslims actually respect Christians because we believe that the Bible was actually a part of revelation, but throughout history, unfortunately, it was corrupted and changed. But we don't know which part was changed and which part kept the same, so we have to respect the entirety of it." I felt like, wow, these people honor us. These people are not bashing us. All I hear all day are Christians bashing Muslims, and here you have these Muslims speaking with so much respect towards Christians.
So I was already right there falling further in love with these individuals and this way of life, that when I came back from Morocco, my enthusiasm for Islam went 10x. So every time I had somebody in my environment or my vicinity badmouthing Muslims and Islam, I would confront them head-on. Somebody would start talking trash about the Quran, I'd be like, "When's the last time you opened the book? Never! Shut your mouth," right? Very kinda aggressive and bold way of being an advocate for Muslims. Some people actually said, "Are you Muslim, Eduardo? Like, what's going on with you? You've changed." And I started to fast. For your information, I was fasting before converting to Islam.
I fasted two times. So people kinda saw it coming, and people were already speculating that it was gonna happen. I just didn't know. Until the very last minute where I decided to convert to Islam, I had no idea that this was gonna happen. Then I came across the story of Malcolm X. And Malcolm X gave me the courage to convert to Islam, because the story of this man is a very powerful and sobering reminder that your goal in life is not to look for safety, is not to look for comfort, but for truth. And he did it in such a fearless way throughout his entire life, that he ended up being the archetype of bravery for me as to what real manhood is in the modern times we live in.
Right after I was done with the movie, I call Usama and I tell him, "Usama, hey, bro, I'm a Muslim now." And Usama's like, "Allahu Akbar,, takbir (saying Allah is the greatest)!" He's so excited, he's screaming, and he's basically talking to me as if like I'm already a Muslim. So he's saying, "Masha'Allah (as Allah willed it)." I had never heard him say these things before because he was very sensitive to language and how he spoke to me. And he's like, "Did you do your shahada (Islamic declaration of faith)? And, you know, this is exciting. Tell me more." I was like, "Do my what? Shahada?" To me, I thought it was like a sort of food that I had to eat, like shawarma.
And I was like, "What's that? I just became a Muslim, like what are you talking about?" He's like, "No, but you have to do your shahada." "What is that?" And he tells me, "Well, that means you have to give the testimony of faith." So I did my testimony of faith with him on the phone. So then Usama says, "I'll bring you to the mosque." And there I was at the mosque with him at ICQ, Islamic Center of Quebec, and I remember as I'm giving my shahada, I'm just in this environment where all I see are Bengalis, Pakistanis, Indians, Arabs, and I had this huge culture shock. I remember thinking to myself, "Eduardo, do you really know what you got yourself into?
Like, this doesn't look like your crowd. People with big beards and turbans, and they were wearing the kufiyas (traditional Arabian headdresses), thobes (traditional Arabian garments)." And I just felt like I was in the wrong crowd. And to make the matter even more intense, after my shahada, all of these men come and hug me and kiss me, and I remember just being completely overwhelmed by this, because I had never hugged a man before. Okay? Like, I would barely hug my dad. And now I have these big, bearded men coming, hugging me and kissing me on the forehead. So for me it was like an affront to my manhood.
But I remember the brothers were just so sincere and teary and happy, that I knew there was something special going on that was beyond my understanding of the moment. When I gave my shahada, there was this brother who came to me and looked at me in the eyes, and he said, "Brother, I'm going to give you a very important advice, and I want you to promise me you are never going to forget it: look at Islam, and don't look at Muslims." And I don't know for what reason, I knew he was saying something essential, and I took that advice, and it saved my faith many times.
And in my particular case, the most powerful, I would say, moment was my du'a (supplication) being answered full circle, where I asked God for three things: send me a foreigner to give me the truth, so I can be part of this tribe that's on truth, so I can have also a companion from that tribe for the rest of my life. Usama was that foreigner who came with that message, right? He gave me access to that tribe with the message of Islam, and I ended up marrying a Moroccan. So, you can't make that stuff up. How challenging was it to embrace an Islamic lifestyle, avoiding harams (forbidden things), praying five times a day, etc.?
As a matter of fact, when I converted to Islam, I didn't start to become this pious guy right away. The following week, I was on the beach, and I had my prayer sheets that I had just printed before getting onto the plane, that I was using to learn how to pray on the beach, topless with shorts, earrings, and a hat on. You understand? So I was really struggling, but I was doing the best that I could. Becoming a Muslim, especially when you had the lifestyle that I had, is literally like learning to live again. It's like learning to use your left hand if you're right-handed or vice versa; it's counterintuitive.
But what helped me the most is when I started to actually change environment and be involved within the Muslim Student Association at the university where I was, and being surrounded with people who were able to act as mentors for me. And it was tough, though, because I didn't gel with a lot of Muslims, and you have to understand this was like right after 9/11, so a lot of Muslims were very apologetic, you know, about their faith, and it was very difficult for me to find strong bonds with Muslims. And don't get me wrong, I never had doubts about Islam. I was always convinced.
But I had serious doubts of whether or not I would have the strength to carry on this journey as a Muslim, because it was so hard environmentally speaking -- I was swimming against a haram (forbidden) current. Then I realized you can't swim against this current, you have to change lanes. And that's what I've done, alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah). After your conversion to Islam, has anyone around you become Muslim as well? Did anyone of your family members embrace Islam later? I have a new revert Latino friend, and I'm so happy 'cause I'm hanging out with him and we're having fun.
And one day, he, you know, has this birthday celebration in his basement with another dude that went to my high school that was his best friend, and we're there in this environment that's not very halal (permissible). There's a lot of wrong things going on. So then he announces, after reciting the Fatiha (first chapter of the Quran), he starts saying that he's going to give his best Quebecer friend, who was a mutual friend of ours, the best gift that a friend could offer to his best friend.
And I'm looking at that from afar and I'm like, "I hope it's not the Quran.” Because if he gives the Quran to this guy, he's gonna roll the papers inside to smoke joints, 'cause I've never seen that dude sober in his life. He was always high or always drunk. So I judged him. So our Quebecer friend walks towards him, takes the gift, and almost tripped on his way there 'cause he was drunk. And says, "Oh, oh, thank you, that's really nice of you." And then he opens it and I saw it was the Quran.
So then in my mind I was like, "Ah, what a bad use of the Quran." Months later, if not a year later, I'm at this mosque close to my in-laws after dinner, and we just finished praying 'Isha (night prayer) and someone just taps me on the back. And I look. And it's that dude who my Peruvian friend gave the Quran to. And he says, "As-salamu alaykum, how are you doing?" And I'm like, not understanding what's going on. And it took me a few minutes to realize that the guy who received the Quran from my Peruvian friend converted to Islam. The first thing that I told the brother, I remember, after he explained to me his new situation, is, "I'm sorry, I have to be very honest with you.
I had judged you, and I thought that you were going to waste that Quran and roll joints with it." And I apologized right away, because there you go, once again, you never know who Allah will guide. What impressed you the most about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)? Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was the archetype of manhood and character. And it took me a long time to really understand the impact of his persona in the world, because in this journey of learning about Islam, you often time get told that you have to love him. But to know somebody takes time. And after reading several biographies of our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), I came to realize that he is Hujjat al-Islam, he is the proof of Islam.
He is a miracle in and of itself, because of the flawlessness of his character and his integrity, the humility, also... how many times did Allah (the Most Glorified and High) correct him? And it was never personal. He adjusted right away. "As long as You're content with me, that's all I want. Forgive me." Imagine that 'alayhi as-salat wa as-salam (peace be upon him) enters this room. What would be the first words you would want to say to him? I don't think I'll be able to speak. I -- I don't know if I would even be able to look at him. I would probably wanna kiss his feet. Um... yeah. May Allah allow us to meet him in Jannah (heaven), Insha'Allah (if Allah wills). Amin (amen).
If you had a chance to speak to all the non-Muslims in the world, maybe especially Brazilians and Canadians, what would you like to say to them in just a few minutes? I would say, give Islam a chance. Truth be told, Islamophobia is manufactured. It's not a random world event. There are people behind this industry that are working overtime for the masses to be confused about who Muslims are and what we stand for. And as a society that prides itself on being rational and reasonable, I think it's important to walk the talk, and not allow ourselves to be brainwashed by cheap propaganda. Have you also converted to Islam but don't know where to start?
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