We Asked 10 Female Converts: Why Islam?
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I think I used to get scared if I heard the words Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest). There were so many stereotypes. I used to think Muslim women are suppressed. Why do they have to wear a hijab (headscarf)? It's not right. I had lots of issues. I was that girl that when she went out in the streets, that wanted people to look but also got upset if the wrong person was looking. Started to read the Quran for one very arrogant reason. And that was that I wanted to find the contradiction. Islam liberates women in so many ways. It puts women up here, actually. In my head, women were oppressed.
Then I started reading into Islam and I realized, "No, it's society that's oppressing women." All I could find was a comprehensive way of life. All I could find were scientific proofs in the Quran. All I could find in my research was the literary miracle of the Quran. There was no contradiction. I started to enjoy walking down the street, and actually just walking down the street, not putting on some show. Like I actually got to enjoy life for the first time without worrying what people were thinking about me. And that's what Islam gave to me. My name is Lauren Booth. I am a journalist and a writer and an actor. So I was born in 1967 in Hampstead, North London. So in 2010, I accepted Islam.
Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God). I grew up as a Sikh. My parents are Indian. Born and raised in the UK. I became Muslim at the age of I think 24-25. I was born and raised in London. I would actually consider myself to have been an atheist. I was born and raised in East London. My mother is Italian. I remember going to church with my mother. I would go to church and spiritually and emotionally it would be very, very fulfilling, but I had questions. And I couldn't understand logically and rationally how I could worship another human being. That didn't sit right with me at a very, very young age. And so I questioned that.
And I remember one particular day, speaking to the pastor of the church and saying to him, you know, and asking him this question, and he said, "Just have faith." There was a level of respect for my grandmother that I couldn't ask too many questions. And when I was growing up, I would ask her, "Why is it three?" And she would just tell me, "You just have to believe." So it was always like the door was closed. There was questions that I didn't know the answer to, and I really struggled with the concept of Jesus being the son of God. If God's sort of all-powerful and all-mighty, why, why does-- the concept of why does Jesus need to die for our sins?
Why does Jesus, why do we need to pray to Jesus? That concept to me was bizarre. I couldn't understand it. So I can remember asking questions and I can remember being kind of shut down and kind of told that I shouldn't be asking questions. I don't know if so much get angry, but they kind of like I was dismissed. I couldn't understand if he's God, why was he dying? God doesn't die. That was always hard to understand. Why would God do that to his child? If that's his child, why would he torture, why didn't he save him or take him? I used to think that as a child. What kind of God did this to his child and let this happen? How did you first hear about Islam? Did you have any prejudices? I did.
Maybe I was slightly Islamophobic. I thought that, you know, there was a lot going on, Iraq, um, and so on. I think I used to get scared if I heard the words Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest). It used to scare me. I used to think that Muslim men are all, you know, very strict, you know, beat their wives and there was, there were so many stereotypes. I used to think Muslim women are suppressed. Why do they have to wear a hijab (headscarf)? It's not right. I had lots of issues. What impressed you the most about Islam? Funnily enough, with all the stereotypes that I had of Muslim women, the first thing that I looked into in Islam was women in Islam.
So I listened to so many talks, read a lot on the internet. There's a book called The Great Women of Islam by Darussalam, which is absolutely incredible. In my head, women were oppressed. Then I started reading into Islam and I realized, no, it's society that's oppressing women and Islam is very advanced. In fact, it's so advanced that I think we're still struggling to catch up with it now as a society. And insha'Allah (if God wills), it will come back stronger because now with all the issues we're having with gender roles and identity, I think Islam has all the answers to that. And maybe it's time we caught up because Islam liberates women in so many ways. It puts women up here, actually.
If, you know, society understands that, they will realize like I did that SubhanAllah (Glory be to God), Islam, you know, gives women so many rights. Rights that they, you know, we never had before in this country, in the Muslim countries. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us how to respect women. You know, that's through giving us, um, like I said, you know, the dowry, just as an example. The woman had to give money to the man. Now the man gives the dowry to the women. That's like a big thing. For the people that used to, you know, get upset when they gave birth to a daughter, you know, so much that they would kill her.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would say that, you know, if you raise a daughter, if you raise daughters, you know, you're given Jannah (Paradise/Heaven). You know, you'll be like this with me in Jannah (Paradise). And then, you know, like the smallest of things, if a woman's fighting with you, she's arguing with you, she's shouting at you, stay quiet. That's what he did. He stayed quiet. Umar ibn Khattab learned. He was like, you know, he would like argue back with his women, but he learned. You know, stay quiet. It's okay. Let them be emotional, allowing women to have their emotions. You know, SubhanAllah (Glory be to God), which deen (religion) teaches you that?
There's so many examples I can give, but I think your recording will take forever. I remember in 2008, as a non-Muslim, I was stranded in Gaza, under siege with those people who are still under siege to this day. Audhubillah (I seek refuge in God). And it was Ramadan (the month of fasting) and I saw that the people were doing kind deeds for each other. Even though they were poor, so I thought one day, "Let me do a kind deed and take some lamb to a family in Rafah refugee camp." So I took this food to a Muslim family in a refugee camp. The mother opened the door, "Tafaddal (Welcome), as-salamu alaykum." So full of light and nur (light), and she was living in a cell.
Nothing to eat, nothing to drink. And I said to her, "Why are you fasting?" I said, "I don't think your God loves you." I'm sorry to say it. I don't think he does. Why does he make you a Gazan, thirsty for 30 days when on day 31, do you have water? She's like, "No, we don't have water." I'm like, "Well, so what then?" On day 30 days you in Gaza, you're going without food. Day 31, is your fridge going to be full?
She said, "No, it will not be full." I said, "Well, then, your God doesn't love you." You know, "Give me one good reason why you're fasting." And she said in a room of nothing, "I fast in Ramadan to remember the poor." And that, I thought at that moment, "If this is Islam, let me be Muslim." Because if there is a faith where you can believe in God and be grateful when you he's given you nothing that day, if there is a faith where you have one bowl of food and you give it to a stranger? Oh my God. Wow. Allah (God) placed someone on my path. It was a classmate at secondary school now, and she was a practicing Muslim. And I started to look into Islam, I started to read articles.
At that time it was listening to tape cassettes. We started to read the Quran for one very arrogant reason, and that was that I wanted to find a contradiction in the faith to save her. Because I just felt that the hijab (headscarf) was wrong. I felt that it would hold her back from a successful career, a successful life, you know. I felt, you know, growing up in the area that I did, what I saw, you know, was men walking, you know, two miles ahead whilst their wives walked behind them. You know, these were the stereotypes that I had. And so it was interesting because on the one hand, I could see that there was something about this faith that produced this beautiful sense of peace in her.
And that on the other hand, this was going to, this was going to restrict her. This was going to oppress her. This was going to hold her back. So I started, and we used to debate and, you know, we would talk regularly. And and as time went on, I started to become convinced that Islam was the truth. And it terrified me. And I started to become convinced. My heart started to change, my mind started to change. I couldn't find anything. All I could find was a comprehensive way of life. All I could find were scientific proofs in the Quran. All I could find in my research was the literary miracle of the Quran. There was nothing.
And that scared me because even though I was young at the time, I've always been the type of person that if I adopt something, if I choose something, I give it 150%. So I knew that as I was beginning to change and I started to become convinced, that that would mean that I would have to change my life, and that scared me. All I could think about was Islam. All I could think about were the things that I had discovered. It was almost as though I was bombarded by these thoughts, you know, these thoughts about the scientific proofs in the Quran, the existence of God, the proof of, you know, the messagership and it was just thought after thought after thought.
And so I took myself out for a walk around where I lived at the time, just to get a bit of a breather. I came to a road that I would regularly cross. I stood there, waiting for the green man. And the green man came and people were crossing and I just couldn't cross. It felt as though my legs were pinned to the ground. And the thought that was in my mind was if I cross this road, or in fact any other road, and I'm hit by a car and I die knowing what I know, what I truly know, what would that mean for me? And it just dawned on me. Why am I not testifying to that which has already entered my heart?
One thing that really convinced me that Islam was the truth is that the Quran has not been changed, and that millions memorize it. I've never heard millions memorizing the Bible. So for me, that was a miracle. It's not a little book, it's a pretty big book. So it really caught my attention. What impressed you the most about our Prophet ﷺ? His character. Always his character. Always his character. His treatment of women first. His treatment of women when he didn't want to speak to the man who doesn't kiss his daughter. The fact that he would allow his wives to have emotions, to have feelings and deal with it in the best way.
The fact that he didn't go to the companion's dinner because he didn't invite his wife Aisha. Everything, his gentleness, his justice when dealing with his wives. His, you know, softness at home, and then his strength on the battlefield. You know, his vulnerability when he was in, um, Ta'if (a city in Saudi Arabia), when he went for help, and instead, look what happened to him. The fact that he can cry. Men now, they think, "You know, we can't cry. We've got to be these big," no, he cried. You know, we talk about gender and what's a man, what's a woman. You know, look at the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
You know, right now I'm reading his ﷺ Seerah (biography) by Yasir Qadhi and every paragraph I'm learning something. What an incredible book. I'd tell everyone to read it. Everything, you know, from the point on his deathbed, Aisha (may God be pleased with her) is complaining about her headache. She's complaining about her headache and he makes a joke and says, "No, but what about my headache? I'm dying." You know? And SubhanAllah (Glory be to God), it's everything he went through so that we could be better people and get to Jannah (Paradise). It's all his sacrifices with his family, with his wealth, all the tests he went through, for what? For us.
How did you take your shahada (the declaration of faith)? It was the happiest day of my life, to be honest with you. It was very overwhelming. I can't even explain the feeling. It's like everything just falls off your shoulders. You feel very light. You feel like a new person. So that was the happiest day of my life, honestly. I never did take it in a mosque or anything because as far as I understood, I took my shahada, it's between Allah and me, so. I wanted to go to the top of the Empire State building and shout down to the people, "Get a hold of the Quran and read it! You just don't know! You'll know everything there is to know about the world if you just read this book!" Seriously.
So my next visit to that masjid (mosque) was when I took my shahada. Yeah, alhamdulillah (Praise be to God). And there was about 60, 70 people there. And the closest people to me at that time that took my shahada are still the closest people to me now. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God). So taking my shahada was amazing. I remember shaking a lot, but it felt good. It felt really good. I remember doing the ghusl (ritual bath) of, you know, taking the shahada and I literally felt this is a new life for me. It's a new start. You know, knowing that Allah (Glorified and Exalted ) wipes everything clean but then still gives you the reward of the good that you did.
It felt really good and I was ready to take on that identity of a Muslim woman. So I just started reading, reading, reading, reading. I went home and for the next seven days, everything was changed. I wanted to pray. I wanted to cry to Allah (God). I put my head to the ground like I'd seen the Muslims do and I said two things over and over again. I just said, "Thank you." And I said, "Sorry." I said, "Thank you for giving me this life, for giving me all the love that I've had, everything that I haven't recognized. You know, beautiful daughters. I've known love. I've had opportunity. Had a good family. And I know you, and thank you." And then I said, "Sorry." Just a lot of sorry.
And I cried a lot for about a week. How did your family and the people around you react? After taking shahada, I wasn't sharing with everybody that I was a Muslim. I didn't mind if people found out, if they knew, that was fine with me. But especially in those early stages of my conversion, I wasn't out telling people I was a Muslim. So I didn't share that with my family at all. One of the reasons why I didn't do that, and I think for some of us it's important that we have to find the strength within ourselves, especially if you are by yourself. You need to figure out who you are in this religion and, you know, strengthen yourself in what you know, before you engage in these conversations.
And personally, I didn't want to have any debates. Like I didn't want people to give me these opinions and telling me that it was wrong or that why did I do this or all of these questions that were going to come out of love. You know, they were they were probably going to ask me this because they love me, they care about me. They were worried. This was so new to them. But I knew what I was doing, and like I said before, this was something very much between me and God, and I didn't want anybody else to come in the way of that.
I felt at the end of the day, I'm going to be standing in front of my creator with what I just did and the actions that are going to follow this and nobody else is going to have any role in that. So I didn't tell anybody. Also, maybe I was a little scared, you know, to tell people. But um, the way my family found out, I don't think they remember this, but I remember. We all went out to dinner, and we were sitting in this restaurant, and I am the only girl in my home. So I'm the eldest only girl. So for my dad, you know, I'm his little girl. And they were talking about my wedding.
So my dad was saying, "When Alma gets married and this beautiful church and walking her down the aisle," and it was a lot of these plans that my dad had for my wedding. So I was very quiet and I was just, you know, enjoying my meal, just very quiet, letting them have that conversation. Then my mom turns around and said, "That's not going to happen." And so my dad, obviously, reacted and he said, "Why would that not happen?" And she said, "Because your daughter's Muslim." So I started eating a little bit faster. She saw me praying. I think she saw me praying in my room and then she made the connection that I had already taken my shahada and became a Muslim.
But I think they thought it was a phase for a long time. And um, again, maybe because of my age and just who I was at the time. When I was passionate about something, and this was one of those things, I became very, um, protective. So I defended my religion. I was scared to lose my religion. I was scared to lose what I had just found. So they were very respectful of the choices that I had made. They didn't understand it, but they're my family. My grandmother pulled me aside and she asked me if I was happy. And I said, "Yes, I'm very happy." She said, "It's okay. Do as you wish." And she told my family, "Leave her alone. She is not drinking, she's not smoking, she's not outside at night.
She's taking care of her son. She dresses okay. It's okay." Eventually, she accepted me and she asked the whole family to respect my new faith. Did becoming Muslim and wearing hijab (headscarf) restrict your freedom? Upon embracing Islam, I have gained my freedom because freedom is removing the shackles placed by people. When you truly connect with your creator and you connect with your purpose, you live for him and you don't live for others. And that is true freedom.
So whilst yes, I'm now wearing hijab (headscarf), and yes, there are certain obligations I need to fulfill for the sake of my Lord, I am free because my decisions, my choices, where I go, what I do, what I don't do, is for the one that created and fashioned me. It's not for those who are on a similar journey to me. So, yes, I'm free. I felt a sense of liberation. Like I felt the hijab (headscarf) liberated me completely. I choose, I have the power to choose who sees me and who doesn't. Unlike a billboard that's selling alcohol, and it's a woman that's half-naked, to me, this is oppression. To me, this is liberation.
It was definitely hard because I was that girl that when she went out in the streets, I was that girl that wanted people to look, but also got upset if the wrong person was looking. And I had to leave that behind, which was really, really difficult because a lot of my identity depended on whether people were looking at me or not. And that's really difficult, because when I walk down the streets in the UK, it's like I don't exist. I'm completely invisible. And that was, you know, someone who wants to be an actress, someone who dressed in a certain way, like that's something that she doesn't want. So it was definitely a big, big change for me.
But I started to revel, I started to enjoy that invisibleness. I started to enjoy walking down the street, and actually just walking down the street, not putting on some show. Like I actually got to enjoy life for the first time without worrying what people were thinking about me. And that's what Islam gave to me. When you're looking into becoming a Muslim, you have to kind of look at building the connection with Allah. So there's a kind of process that needs to be followed in a way that will help you understand why you cover your hair, why you cover your body, why you refrain from doing certain things.
So I think what I would advise people that are looking, that are thinking, "You know what? I want to become Muslim. I believe in Allah. I believe in the sunnah (teachings) of the Prophet ﷺ, but I don't want to cover my hair or but I don't want to give up this or I don't want to give up that." It will come. The change will happen once you establish that relationship. There were things that I never envisioned myself doing. Covering up was one of them. Stopping partying was another, believe it or not. But as I grew my relationship with Allah, as I learned the religion, naturally, I just wanted to please my Lord.
The focus should be on establishing a relationship with Allah, understanding, you know, Allah's mercy, understanding Allah's love, understanding who Allah really is. Take your time, understand who you're worshiping, understand why you're worshiping him and things will follow. Everybody has had their own personal journey and I see that from knowing so many converts in my life, even at the Seerah (biography) of how people embraced the religion according to Muhammad ﷺ. Everything was easygoing, even the alcohol took a while to get rid of, right? Things didn't happen all of a sudden. People have asked me many times, "Isn't Islam hard?
Isn't it difficult?" And without any hesitation, I can tell you that a life without Islam is what's hard. Our most merciful creator has given it to us as a gift, but he hasn't forced us. It says, "Here it is. It's your choice." The decision is yours, the result is yours. Choose wisely. People think that when you become Muslim, you'll become an Arab, you will change your name, change your clothing, change your tradition. So is it possible to stick to your culture and be a Muslim at the same time? I think that one of the big misconceptions that people have had is that when you embrace Islam, you're you're becoming an Arab or you're becoming some other cultural makeup that isn't yours.
And I'll be honest, when I first came to Islam, which is like over 20 years ago, I didn't find any revert Muslims, any converts, any Latino Muslims at that time and it was very difficult for me then. Now, it is so different. It is so different. Times have changed. I think with social media and the different platforms and groups and exposure of Islam, we understand that you don't have to be Arab, you don't have to be Desi, you don't have to be Russian. You can be exactly who you are, wherever you're coming from and be a Muslim. It was sent down for humanity and that includes you. So, there's a lot of misconceptions, unfortunately, of having to change your name the day that you embrace Islam.
It's a misconception. Nowhere does it say that you change your name, as long it doesn't have a bad meaning. You're able to be Maria, Felipe, Pablo, it doesn't matter. This is important because this is your identity. You can definitely keep the goodness of your culture. I personally still cook mole, tacos, flautas. I enjoy my culture to the max. You don't have to stop loving and believing in Jesus and understanding that his mother, Mary, has a chapter in the Quran. So they're not very foreign to us. We love them and respect them and you don't have to stop loving them and respecting them. On the contrary. Islam enhances our lives in so many ways.
So continue eating your tacos, continue enjoying all of the culture that comes with you and continue learning about Islam because Islam is a way of life.
Then I started reading into Islam and I realized, "No, it's society that's oppressing women." All I could find was a comprehensive way of life. All I could find were scientific proofs in the Quran. All I could find in my research was the literary miracle of the Quran. There was no contradiction. I started to enjoy walking down the street, and actually just walking down the street, not putting on some show. Like I actually got to enjoy life for the first time without worrying what people were thinking about me. And that's what Islam gave to me. My name is Lauren Booth. I am a journalist and a writer and an actor. So I was born in 1967 in Hampstead, North London. So in 2010, I accepted Islam.
Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God). I grew up as a Sikh. My parents are Indian. Born and raised in the UK. I became Muslim at the age of I think 24-25. I was born and raised in London. I would actually consider myself to have been an atheist. I was born and raised in East London. My mother is Italian. I remember going to church with my mother. I would go to church and spiritually and emotionally it would be very, very fulfilling, but I had questions. And I couldn't understand logically and rationally how I could worship another human being. That didn't sit right with me at a very, very young age. And so I questioned that.
And I remember one particular day, speaking to the pastor of the church and saying to him, you know, and asking him this question, and he said, "Just have faith." There was a level of respect for my grandmother that I couldn't ask too many questions. And when I was growing up, I would ask her, "Why is it three?" And she would just tell me, "You just have to believe." So it was always like the door was closed. There was questions that I didn't know the answer to, and I really struggled with the concept of Jesus being the son of God. If God's sort of all-powerful and all-mighty, why, why does-- the concept of why does Jesus need to die for our sins?
Why does Jesus, why do we need to pray to Jesus? That concept to me was bizarre. I couldn't understand it. So I can remember asking questions and I can remember being kind of shut down and kind of told that I shouldn't be asking questions. I don't know if so much get angry, but they kind of like I was dismissed. I couldn't understand if he's God, why was he dying? God doesn't die. That was always hard to understand. Why would God do that to his child? If that's his child, why would he torture, why didn't he save him or take him? I used to think that as a child. What kind of God did this to his child and let this happen? How did you first hear about Islam? Did you have any prejudices? I did.
Maybe I was slightly Islamophobic. I thought that, you know, there was a lot going on, Iraq, um, and so on. I think I used to get scared if I heard the words Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest). It used to scare me. I used to think that Muslim men are all, you know, very strict, you know, beat their wives and there was, there were so many stereotypes. I used to think Muslim women are suppressed. Why do they have to wear a hijab (headscarf)? It's not right. I had lots of issues. What impressed you the most about Islam? Funnily enough, with all the stereotypes that I had of Muslim women, the first thing that I looked into in Islam was women in Islam.
So I listened to so many talks, read a lot on the internet. There's a book called The Great Women of Islam by Darussalam, which is absolutely incredible. In my head, women were oppressed. Then I started reading into Islam and I realized, no, it's society that's oppressing women and Islam is very advanced. In fact, it's so advanced that I think we're still struggling to catch up with it now as a society. And insha'Allah (if God wills), it will come back stronger because now with all the issues we're having with gender roles and identity, I think Islam has all the answers to that. And maybe it's time we caught up because Islam liberates women in so many ways. It puts women up here, actually.
If, you know, society understands that, they will realize like I did that SubhanAllah (Glory be to God), Islam, you know, gives women so many rights. Rights that they, you know, we never had before in this country, in the Muslim countries. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us how to respect women. You know, that's through giving us, um, like I said, you know, the dowry, just as an example. The woman had to give money to the man. Now the man gives the dowry to the women. That's like a big thing. For the people that used to, you know, get upset when they gave birth to a daughter, you know, so much that they would kill her.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would say that, you know, if you raise a daughter, if you raise daughters, you know, you're given Jannah (Paradise/Heaven). You know, you'll be like this with me in Jannah (Paradise). And then, you know, like the smallest of things, if a woman's fighting with you, she's arguing with you, she's shouting at you, stay quiet. That's what he did. He stayed quiet. Umar ibn Khattab learned. He was like, you know, he would like argue back with his women, but he learned. You know, stay quiet. It's okay. Let them be emotional, allowing women to have their emotions. You know, SubhanAllah (Glory be to God), which deen (religion) teaches you that?
There's so many examples I can give, but I think your recording will take forever. I remember in 2008, as a non-Muslim, I was stranded in Gaza, under siege with those people who are still under siege to this day. Audhubillah (I seek refuge in God). And it was Ramadan (the month of fasting) and I saw that the people were doing kind deeds for each other. Even though they were poor, so I thought one day, "Let me do a kind deed and take some lamb to a family in Rafah refugee camp." So I took this food to a Muslim family in a refugee camp. The mother opened the door, "Tafaddal (Welcome), as-salamu alaykum." So full of light and nur (light), and she was living in a cell.
Nothing to eat, nothing to drink. And I said to her, "Why are you fasting?" I said, "I don't think your God loves you." I'm sorry to say it. I don't think he does. Why does he make you a Gazan, thirsty for 30 days when on day 31, do you have water? She's like, "No, we don't have water." I'm like, "Well, so what then?" On day 30 days you in Gaza, you're going without food. Day 31, is your fridge going to be full?
She said, "No, it will not be full." I said, "Well, then, your God doesn't love you." You know, "Give me one good reason why you're fasting." And she said in a room of nothing, "I fast in Ramadan to remember the poor." And that, I thought at that moment, "If this is Islam, let me be Muslim." Because if there is a faith where you can believe in God and be grateful when you he's given you nothing that day, if there is a faith where you have one bowl of food and you give it to a stranger? Oh my God. Wow. Allah (God) placed someone on my path. It was a classmate at secondary school now, and she was a practicing Muslim. And I started to look into Islam, I started to read articles.
At that time it was listening to tape cassettes. We started to read the Quran for one very arrogant reason, and that was that I wanted to find a contradiction in the faith to save her. Because I just felt that the hijab (headscarf) was wrong. I felt that it would hold her back from a successful career, a successful life, you know. I felt, you know, growing up in the area that I did, what I saw, you know, was men walking, you know, two miles ahead whilst their wives walked behind them. You know, these were the stereotypes that I had. And so it was interesting because on the one hand, I could see that there was something about this faith that produced this beautiful sense of peace in her.
And that on the other hand, this was going to, this was going to restrict her. This was going to oppress her. This was going to hold her back. So I started, and we used to debate and, you know, we would talk regularly. And and as time went on, I started to become convinced that Islam was the truth. And it terrified me. And I started to become convinced. My heart started to change, my mind started to change. I couldn't find anything. All I could find was a comprehensive way of life. All I could find were scientific proofs in the Quran. All I could find in my research was the literary miracle of the Quran. There was nothing.
And that scared me because even though I was young at the time, I've always been the type of person that if I adopt something, if I choose something, I give it 150%. So I knew that as I was beginning to change and I started to become convinced, that that would mean that I would have to change my life, and that scared me. All I could think about was Islam. All I could think about were the things that I had discovered. It was almost as though I was bombarded by these thoughts, you know, these thoughts about the scientific proofs in the Quran, the existence of God, the proof of, you know, the messagership and it was just thought after thought after thought.
And so I took myself out for a walk around where I lived at the time, just to get a bit of a breather. I came to a road that I would regularly cross. I stood there, waiting for the green man. And the green man came and people were crossing and I just couldn't cross. It felt as though my legs were pinned to the ground. And the thought that was in my mind was if I cross this road, or in fact any other road, and I'm hit by a car and I die knowing what I know, what I truly know, what would that mean for me? And it just dawned on me. Why am I not testifying to that which has already entered my heart?
One thing that really convinced me that Islam was the truth is that the Quran has not been changed, and that millions memorize it. I've never heard millions memorizing the Bible. So for me, that was a miracle. It's not a little book, it's a pretty big book. So it really caught my attention. What impressed you the most about our Prophet ﷺ? His character. Always his character. Always his character. His treatment of women first. His treatment of women when he didn't want to speak to the man who doesn't kiss his daughter. The fact that he would allow his wives to have emotions, to have feelings and deal with it in the best way.
The fact that he didn't go to the companion's dinner because he didn't invite his wife Aisha. Everything, his gentleness, his justice when dealing with his wives. His, you know, softness at home, and then his strength on the battlefield. You know, his vulnerability when he was in, um, Ta'if (a city in Saudi Arabia), when he went for help, and instead, look what happened to him. The fact that he can cry. Men now, they think, "You know, we can't cry. We've got to be these big," no, he cried. You know, we talk about gender and what's a man, what's a woman. You know, look at the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
You know, right now I'm reading his ﷺ Seerah (biography) by Yasir Qadhi and every paragraph I'm learning something. What an incredible book. I'd tell everyone to read it. Everything, you know, from the point on his deathbed, Aisha (may God be pleased with her) is complaining about her headache. She's complaining about her headache and he makes a joke and says, "No, but what about my headache? I'm dying." You know? And SubhanAllah (Glory be to God), it's everything he went through so that we could be better people and get to Jannah (Paradise). It's all his sacrifices with his family, with his wealth, all the tests he went through, for what? For us.
How did you take your shahada (the declaration of faith)? It was the happiest day of my life, to be honest with you. It was very overwhelming. I can't even explain the feeling. It's like everything just falls off your shoulders. You feel very light. You feel like a new person. So that was the happiest day of my life, honestly. I never did take it in a mosque or anything because as far as I understood, I took my shahada, it's between Allah and me, so. I wanted to go to the top of the Empire State building and shout down to the people, "Get a hold of the Quran and read it! You just don't know! You'll know everything there is to know about the world if you just read this book!" Seriously.
So my next visit to that masjid (mosque) was when I took my shahada. Yeah, alhamdulillah (Praise be to God). And there was about 60, 70 people there. And the closest people to me at that time that took my shahada are still the closest people to me now. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God). So taking my shahada was amazing. I remember shaking a lot, but it felt good. It felt really good. I remember doing the ghusl (ritual bath) of, you know, taking the shahada and I literally felt this is a new life for me. It's a new start. You know, knowing that Allah (Glorified and Exalted ) wipes everything clean but then still gives you the reward of the good that you did.
It felt really good and I was ready to take on that identity of a Muslim woman. So I just started reading, reading, reading, reading. I went home and for the next seven days, everything was changed. I wanted to pray. I wanted to cry to Allah (God). I put my head to the ground like I'd seen the Muslims do and I said two things over and over again. I just said, "Thank you." And I said, "Sorry." I said, "Thank you for giving me this life, for giving me all the love that I've had, everything that I haven't recognized. You know, beautiful daughters. I've known love. I've had opportunity. Had a good family. And I know you, and thank you." And then I said, "Sorry." Just a lot of sorry.
And I cried a lot for about a week. How did your family and the people around you react? After taking shahada, I wasn't sharing with everybody that I was a Muslim. I didn't mind if people found out, if they knew, that was fine with me. But especially in those early stages of my conversion, I wasn't out telling people I was a Muslim. So I didn't share that with my family at all. One of the reasons why I didn't do that, and I think for some of us it's important that we have to find the strength within ourselves, especially if you are by yourself. You need to figure out who you are in this religion and, you know, strengthen yourself in what you know, before you engage in these conversations.
And personally, I didn't want to have any debates. Like I didn't want people to give me these opinions and telling me that it was wrong or that why did I do this or all of these questions that were going to come out of love. You know, they were they were probably going to ask me this because they love me, they care about me. They were worried. This was so new to them. But I knew what I was doing, and like I said before, this was something very much between me and God, and I didn't want anybody else to come in the way of that.
I felt at the end of the day, I'm going to be standing in front of my creator with what I just did and the actions that are going to follow this and nobody else is going to have any role in that. So I didn't tell anybody. Also, maybe I was a little scared, you know, to tell people. But um, the way my family found out, I don't think they remember this, but I remember. We all went out to dinner, and we were sitting in this restaurant, and I am the only girl in my home. So I'm the eldest only girl. So for my dad, you know, I'm his little girl. And they were talking about my wedding.
So my dad was saying, "When Alma gets married and this beautiful church and walking her down the aisle," and it was a lot of these plans that my dad had for my wedding. So I was very quiet and I was just, you know, enjoying my meal, just very quiet, letting them have that conversation. Then my mom turns around and said, "That's not going to happen." And so my dad, obviously, reacted and he said, "Why would that not happen?" And she said, "Because your daughter's Muslim." So I started eating a little bit faster. She saw me praying. I think she saw me praying in my room and then she made the connection that I had already taken my shahada and became a Muslim.
But I think they thought it was a phase for a long time. And um, again, maybe because of my age and just who I was at the time. When I was passionate about something, and this was one of those things, I became very, um, protective. So I defended my religion. I was scared to lose my religion. I was scared to lose what I had just found. So they were very respectful of the choices that I had made. They didn't understand it, but they're my family. My grandmother pulled me aside and she asked me if I was happy. And I said, "Yes, I'm very happy." She said, "It's okay. Do as you wish." And she told my family, "Leave her alone. She is not drinking, she's not smoking, she's not outside at night.
She's taking care of her son. She dresses okay. It's okay." Eventually, she accepted me and she asked the whole family to respect my new faith. Did becoming Muslim and wearing hijab (headscarf) restrict your freedom? Upon embracing Islam, I have gained my freedom because freedom is removing the shackles placed by people. When you truly connect with your creator and you connect with your purpose, you live for him and you don't live for others. And that is true freedom.
So whilst yes, I'm now wearing hijab (headscarf), and yes, there are certain obligations I need to fulfill for the sake of my Lord, I am free because my decisions, my choices, where I go, what I do, what I don't do, is for the one that created and fashioned me. It's not for those who are on a similar journey to me. So, yes, I'm free. I felt a sense of liberation. Like I felt the hijab (headscarf) liberated me completely. I choose, I have the power to choose who sees me and who doesn't. Unlike a billboard that's selling alcohol, and it's a woman that's half-naked, to me, this is oppression. To me, this is liberation.
It was definitely hard because I was that girl that when she went out in the streets, I was that girl that wanted people to look, but also got upset if the wrong person was looking. And I had to leave that behind, which was really, really difficult because a lot of my identity depended on whether people were looking at me or not. And that's really difficult, because when I walk down the streets in the UK, it's like I don't exist. I'm completely invisible. And that was, you know, someone who wants to be an actress, someone who dressed in a certain way, like that's something that she doesn't want. So it was definitely a big, big change for me.
But I started to revel, I started to enjoy that invisibleness. I started to enjoy walking down the street, and actually just walking down the street, not putting on some show. Like I actually got to enjoy life for the first time without worrying what people were thinking about me. And that's what Islam gave to me. When you're looking into becoming a Muslim, you have to kind of look at building the connection with Allah. So there's a kind of process that needs to be followed in a way that will help you understand why you cover your hair, why you cover your body, why you refrain from doing certain things.
So I think what I would advise people that are looking, that are thinking, "You know what? I want to become Muslim. I believe in Allah. I believe in the sunnah (teachings) of the Prophet ﷺ, but I don't want to cover my hair or but I don't want to give up this or I don't want to give up that." It will come. The change will happen once you establish that relationship. There were things that I never envisioned myself doing. Covering up was one of them. Stopping partying was another, believe it or not. But as I grew my relationship with Allah, as I learned the religion, naturally, I just wanted to please my Lord.
The focus should be on establishing a relationship with Allah, understanding, you know, Allah's mercy, understanding Allah's love, understanding who Allah really is. Take your time, understand who you're worshiping, understand why you're worshiping him and things will follow. Everybody has had their own personal journey and I see that from knowing so many converts in my life, even at the Seerah (biography) of how people embraced the religion according to Muhammad ﷺ. Everything was easygoing, even the alcohol took a while to get rid of, right? Things didn't happen all of a sudden. People have asked me many times, "Isn't Islam hard?
Isn't it difficult?" And without any hesitation, I can tell you that a life without Islam is what's hard. Our most merciful creator has given it to us as a gift, but he hasn't forced us. It says, "Here it is. It's your choice." The decision is yours, the result is yours. Choose wisely. People think that when you become Muslim, you'll become an Arab, you will change your name, change your clothing, change your tradition. So is it possible to stick to your culture and be a Muslim at the same time? I think that one of the big misconceptions that people have had is that when you embrace Islam, you're you're becoming an Arab or you're becoming some other cultural makeup that isn't yours.
And I'll be honest, when I first came to Islam, which is like over 20 years ago, I didn't find any revert Muslims, any converts, any Latino Muslims at that time and it was very difficult for me then. Now, it is so different. It is so different. Times have changed. I think with social media and the different platforms and groups and exposure of Islam, we understand that you don't have to be Arab, you don't have to be Desi, you don't have to be Russian. You can be exactly who you are, wherever you're coming from and be a Muslim. It was sent down for humanity and that includes you. So, there's a lot of misconceptions, unfortunately, of having to change your name the day that you embrace Islam.
It's a misconception. Nowhere does it say that you change your name, as long it doesn't have a bad meaning. You're able to be Maria, Felipe, Pablo, it doesn't matter. This is important because this is your identity. You can definitely keep the goodness of your culture. I personally still cook mole, tacos, flautas. I enjoy my culture to the max. You don't have to stop loving and believing in Jesus and understanding that his mother, Mary, has a chapter in the Quran. So they're not very foreign to us. We love them and respect them and you don't have to stop loving them and respecting them. On the contrary. Islam enhances our lives in so many ways.
So continue eating your tacos, continue enjoying all of the culture that comes with you and continue learning about Islam because Islam is a way of life.